Fic - I Wept Not [23/24]
Jan. 30th, 2012 09:49 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
arcadianmaggieSummary: Jasper is a war weary soldier burdened by the weight of eternity. Edward is an uncomplicated high school student content to hide his sexuality. Together can Jasper find something to live for and Edward discover some things are worth dying for? AU, slash.
Chapter 22 | Masterpost
"Night is the shadow of my father's hands
setting the clock for resurrection.
Or is it the clock unraveled, the numbers flown?
There's nothing that hasn't found home there:
discarded wings, lost shoes, a broken alphabet.
Everything but sleep. And night begins
with the first beheading
of the jasmine."
-Li-Young Lee, "Pillow", l. 15-22
Chapter 23 - The First Beheading of the Jasmine
JPOV
God, the heat. Every touch seared fire across my skin. His hands on my chest burned and my own were aflame, red hot, resting on his thighs as he rocked above me. As I sunk deep inside him, his body embracing me, I thought I might combust in a raging inferno. But it was his eyes, his beautiful eyes, darkened with passion that threatened to incinerate me, his fiery gaze penetrating so deeply, I could almost believe he was branding his emotions onto my very soul.
When I was with him like this, joined so intimately, my senses accessing the recesses of his innermost feelings, I felt bathed in his love, its power a benediction transforming me from ice and stone to flesh and bone. And when we reached the peak of our pleasure, I was completely consumed in the conflagration, flesh combusting to flame, bone crumbling to ash. In those divine moments of cataclysmic annihilation, I understood, finally, immortality.
I was reborn in his arms, his sweet kisses, the tender stroking of his hands, calling me back to my body, back to a place of thought and touch and sound, his quiet proclamations of devotion landing in my ears, pulling me back to the things of the earth. Then his mouth was on mine, our tongues languidly tangling together and I closed my eyes, treasuring the bittersweet impulse to want to freeze time.
"I love you more than words could ever express," I whispered to him, and he answered in kind, pulling me closer and letting his fingers, his lips, his body speak.
I never imagined it was possible to feel this much joy.
-o-
Edward was sleeping. I had watched him for hours, studying the gentle rise and fall of his chest, breathing deeply as he exhaled close to my face, the tiny puffs of air a lover's caress. He had fallen asleep after we had made love, limbs wrapped tightly around me. I held him in my arms until I felt his skin start to chill, then I had reluctantly pulled away, careful not to wake him, and wrapped him in a blanket before taking a place back by his side.
I heard Alice in the kitchen and I leaned over to gently place a kiss on the top of Edward's head, filling my lungs with his scent to keep him with me before easing out of bed.
She smiled as I joined her and I gave her one in return.
"Were you hunting?" I asked, noting the slight flush on her cheek.
"Yes. It's a beautiful night. Why don't you go? I'll stay here with Edward."
"All right. Thank you." I gave her a hug before heading out.
I had tried to hunt more frequently since our return from Mexico. I no longer feared succumbing to thirst and drinking from Edward in a lapse of control, but with our greater intimacy and closeness, I found that regular feedings helped minimize the burn.
As I sped through the woods, listening to the sounds of the night, I recalled other times similar to this where I ran, attempting to escape the impossibility of my existence. The urge to flee still hit at times, but it was different in every way from before.
My family couldn't be happier for us. When I was in Forks, I'd sense Carlisle's pride, his deep satisfaction at the easing of my heartache, a welcome change from the helplessness his compassionate nature had always found hard to bear. Esme practically beamed when she saw Edward and me together. She'd look on us with such maternal affection, I'm sure there would be tears in her eyes were it possible. Emmett, of course, was highly enthusiastic about our physical relationship, something that was impossible to hide from sharp vampire senses. The scent of our arousal was evident whenever we were together, not to mention our inability to keep our hands off each other. Rosalie had learned of Edward's decision to remain human; her approval was without question.
Then there was Alice… my dear sweet Alice. Her joy at our happiness rivaled my own.
It was all good. Almost too good. And that's why I sometimes found myself hurtling through the forest, my feet flying across the ground. I was unaccustomed to these emotions, this deep happiness, the sense of being loved and the accompanying belief it might actually be something I deserved. Sometimes it was too much and I felt as if I might burst out of my own skin.
After racing for hours, the nervous energy would wear off and I could return home with the ability to accept the abundance that was now my life.
The sun was rising and I hurried back, eager to catch that first glimpse of Edward as he emerged from slumber. I loved the way his eyes would search for mine and the lazy, sleepy smile that would creep across his face when he first awoke. He'd rub his eyes then greet me with a quiet, "hey," his voice rough from sleep, and then he'd reach for me, pulling me down next to him so I could feel his erection. If it were a weekend, or a day without a morning class, we'd lie in bed and make love. If he needed to get ready for school, he'd groan piteously, grinding himself against my thigh, and I'd laugh and then make him coffee while he took his shower.
Alice smiled as me as I sat at the table drinking coffee, after sending Edward off to class with a passionate kiss.
"I can't believe you still drink that stuff," she mused with a smile.
"Caffeine is addictive," I joked.
She rolled her eyes. "You don't have to pretend with me, Jasper. I understand why you do." She wrinkled her nose adorably. "But don't you think it might be easier to, I don't know, borrow his shirt or something?"
I laughed, loving her teasing, and at the same time, smiling to myself at the thought of borrowing some of his clothes that were permeated with his scent, keeping them next to my skin while he was away. That didn't mean I would give up the coffee, though. The taste of coffee was the taste of Edward's lips.
Alice was smiling at me fondly, no doubt following my train of thought.
"And do you really need reminders of Edward anymore? I mean, you practically live here."
I looked around the room, noting a few of my books interspersed with hers and Edward's belongings. I thought of the clothing I kept in his room.
"I think you should talk to Edward soon, and move some more of your things over here and make it official."
At her suggestion, I saw our future stretching out before us, Edward and I sharing the everydayness of life, watching him wake in the morning and having him fall asleep in my arms every night. I saw him graduating from college and going to law school. I saw our love continuing to grow as we traveled the years together. I could picture him as he aged, the lines around his eye and his mouth growing deeper, the hair at his temples gaining touches of grey, yet always so beautiful. I could see him, middle-aged, envisioning that I might shift to the role of his young lover, wondering how long we could get away with our age disparity without raising eyebrows. Maybe I'd get a job, teach history at the University, to add some gravitas to my image. I smiled at the thought. I felt a sense of peace seeing his human life play out in my mind, realizing that I'd be able to accept whatever future he chose, even if he decided never to be turned.
"Really?" I asked.
"Yes, really," she said with a gentle smile.
I was touched by the emotions I felt from her, always the undercurrent of longing, but there was nothing but pure joy for me. Her perpetual hopefulness humbled me. I owed her everything.
Reaching for her hand, I tugged her into my lap, wrapping my arms around her and burying my face in her hair.
"Thank you, Alice, for everything. For finding me and pulling me out of the darkness. For teaching me a new way of life. For my family. For Edward."
"I'm just happy that you're happy, Jasper," she said, her voice muffled against my chest.
I wrapped my arms around her tighter still.
-o-
I hung up the phone, my mind racing. Immediately, I called over to the house.
"Where's Alice?" I barked when Esme answered the phone.
"She's right here," Esme answered surprised. "What's going on Jasper?" I'm sure she could hear the tension in my voice.
"I'm coming over. I'll tell you when I get there. Keep Alice there. Don't let her leave."
"I will. Jasper?" I heard the fear in Esme's voice, her mothering instincts at the ready sensing a threat to one of her brood. I was glad Emmett and Rosalie were with her.
"I'll be over soon. Just keep her there. Keep her safe."
Edward was listening to our conversation, a concerned expression on his face. We had come to Forks for the weekend and were checking on the Masen house before heading over to pack up some of my things to move back to Seattle. When I finished my call with Esme, he asked, "Who was that call from before? What's going on?"
"Alice is in danger."
"What? How? From whom?"
"That was Tanya. Let's go; I'll tell you in the car."
As we drove over, I relayed the conversation I had had with Tanya.
"Jasper?" she asked when I answered my cell.
"Tanya!" I had exclaimed, happy to hear from her. "It's good to hear your voice."
"I'm so sorry this isn't a social call. I need to talk to you. Warn you."
"Tell me."
"You remember Laurent?" I felt an ache in my chest remembering my days in Alaska and the green eyed young man pressed between Irina and Laurent, his body brought to pleasure before me, a reminder of all I had foolishly left behind and almost lost forever.
"Yes."
"If you recall, he was traveling with two other nomads, but stayed behind with us for a while, intrigued by our lifestyle."
I acknowledged her reminder.
"He grew dissatisfied with an animal diet and eventually left to rejoin his friends. Luckily, he was with us—or at least Irina—long enough to feel some measure of loyalty. One of his companions is a vampire named James. A tracker. He knows your Alice. Knew her. When she was human."
"What?" I asked, shocked.
"Jasper, he calls her 'the one who got away.'"
I froze, my body immediately on alert.
"Laurent called when he realized James had recognized her from his stories of his time with us. Even though Laurent hasn't met Alice, we certainly discussed her and her gift. He knows we consider all of you family. Laurent won't turn against James, but he felt he had to warn us. James plans to track her… to finish what he started decades ago."
"Tell me everything you know," I demanded.
"I don't know much. Alice was a patient in a mental institution. One of the employees, a vampire, befriended her. This vampire and James were enemies. I don't know the details of any of that, how or why. Only that James planned to hurt his rival by killing Alice, but she had already been turned by her friend before he got the chance. James destroyed the other vampire in retaliation, but apparently, never got over being thwarted."
"Where are they now?"
"I don't know. But be careful. Laurent says not to underestimate James. He's extremely intelligent and absolutely lethal. He'll never give up."
Then I'd have to destroy him. I had no qualms about what I'd need to do. Loving Edward had so radically changed me that I no longer despised the monster I had once been, nor the killer who still resided within me. Indeed, in this moment I was grateful for my battle scars, my years of strife. I doubted James had ever been faced with an adversary like me before.
"He's traveling with his mate, a red haired woman named Victoria. If I learn more, I'll let you know."
When I had finished relaying the conversation to Edward, he mused, "I bet those were the vampires Bella was talking about over Thanksgiving."
"What?" I looked over at him in surprise.
"Yeah, she said Jacob and the pack had chased off a couple of nomad vampires recently."
"I better have Carlisle talk to Sam," I determined.
After meeting with the family and discussing the situation with the pack, several decisions had been reached. Emmett and I, along with the wolves, would hunt for this James and his mate. Alice would stay in Forks with Esme, Carlisle and Rosalie. The wolves offered to expand their regular patrols to include our house. Alice complained at first, insisting she was perfectly capable of fighting if necessary, but agreed with the plan after we discussed it would be easier if she stayed in once place, in order to try and draw them near.
For Edward's protection, in case James came looking for Alice in Seattle, he would temporarily move out and stay with Bella at her apartment. Her planned move to Seattle and enrollment at the University had finally come to fruition and she would be starting classes after the end of winter break. Jacob would also live with them both. It was likely an unnecessary precaution, but Jacob refused to leave Bella unprotected and I had to admit that I was grateful for his presence, since I would be unable to stay close to Edward while hunting James.
Already, I felt a pang of disappointment that what was supposed to have been our first night officially living together had been disrupted. Alice had planned to stay in Forks for the rest of the break while Edward and I went back to Seattle, giving us some time on our own. Instead, Edward would be bunking with Bella and the shape-shifter while I prowled the forests for James and Victoria. It was a disappointment, but a small price to pay; I'd do anything to keep Alice safe.
I drove with Edward back to Seattle to get him settled with Bella before returning to Forks. Jacob was already at the apartment and scowled when he opened the door. Bella pushed past him to give Edward a hug.
"Hey, I'm so glad you're staying here. The circumstances suck, but this will be so much fun," she said pulling back with a big smile. She reached over to give me a hug as well and I watched Jacob's lip curl up in disgust as his expression darkened.
She released me from the hug, but held tightly to my arm. "Please keep Alice safe."
"I will."
"Good. I'll, um, just wait inside while you two say goodbye," Bella said, leaving Edward and me in the doorway.
Edward reached out for my hands and took them in his. As he stared at me, I could see the worry in his eyes.
"I know you've been in, like, a million battles, but… please be careful." His voice dropped to a whisper as he spoke. Then he tugged me towards him and let go of my hands to wrap his arms around me and hold me close. I could feel the beating of his heart against my chest. He was so warm and vibrant. I vowed to hunt James relentlessly, the sooner to be able to come home to my beautiful boy.
I leaned back, putting my fingers under his chin, so I could raise his face from where it was buried against my shoulder.
"I'll be fine. And Alice will be safe. Okay?" I said quietly, looking into his expressive green eyes. He didn't answer.
"Okay?" I asked again, a little more forcefully.
"Okay," he conceded. "I'm just worried. And I'll miss you," he added softly. "I've kind of gotten used to you watching me sleep."
"I've kind of gotten used to watching you sleep, too," I replied with a smile.
Then he leaned closer and our lips met. I was lost in Edward, lost in his touch, his taste, his feel. He melted against me and his hands reached up to bury themselves in my hair as he groaned into my mouth. The embers he seemed to always carry with him flared to life and I felt myself being consumed in his heat—his love, desire, passion, want, a flame burning through me.
"Ugh," a deep voice said in disgust from inside the apartment. "At least shut the door. I do not need to see this."
We reluctantly pulled apart with a small laugh, although my body ached at the separation. Edward rolled his eyes, pupils still wide, and muttered, "Going to be so much fun, my ass."
He shut his eyes for a moment and I could feel him trying to gain control of himself, reining in the desire that our touches had unleashed. He took a few deep breaths then opened his eyes to give me his crooked grin as he adjusted himself with a grimace. Next he took my hand and brought it to his chest, spreading my fingers open, over his heart. He held it there, with his hands over mine.
"Feel," he commanded.
And I did. I felt the rapid beat of his heart, the blood rushing through the arteries. I felt the heat of his skin. I felt life, his life, pulsing under my fingers. And I felt his love, deep and pure. I felt his devotion, unwavering. I felt his fear, his worry, too, but it was eclipsed by the enormity of his love.
"Promise me you'll come back," he said, his intense stare pinning me in place.
"I promise."
"Okay." He dropped his hand and pulled me to him for one last kiss, thorough and deep, claiming me, owning me, even though I was his already. Completely.
He stepped away, entered the apartment and closed the door behind him, leaving me standing on the other side.
"I hope you two plan to take showers," I heard Jacob snarl through the door. Bella's indignant voice answered him back.
I shook my head laughing, and with a reluctant heart, set out into the darkness.
-o-
"Oh my god, Jasper, you have got to hurry up and catch James. You have no idea what it's like living with him. I can't imagine what Bella sees in the guy. He's such a dick," Edward complained to me over the phone. "Do you know what he said today? I never knew there were so many vampire insults in the English language. He said…" I listened as Edward recounted yet another story about Jacob, his irritating, insulting, hot-headed, shape-shifting, temporary roommate. I didn't mention that I suspected Jacob's hostility had more to do with Edward's de-flowering of his imprintee rather than his chosen mate being a vampire.
The separation from Edward aside, I was frustrated as well. After hunting James for over a week, we were still unable to catch him or Victoria. We had been close several times, but somehow, they always managed to elude us. Alice's gift had been of little help. She'd see small flashes, but they changed too fast, were too brief to make any sense.
The entire situation was hitting her hard. Finally, she had some pieces of her human past, but the tiny details we knew left her with far more questions than answers.
"Do you think my family put me in the institution?" she had asked, her voice laced with sadness.
"I don't know."
"I probably had visions as a human."
"Probably."
"They must have thought I was mad.
"I wonder what he was like, the vampire who turned me," she continued without waiting for a response, and indeed, what sort of response could I have given?
"I don't know."
"I wonder if I'll ever know his name."
I didn't comment, just pulled her into my lap.
"It sounds like he cared about me, though. Do you think it sounded like he cared about me?"
"Yes. It sounds like he cared for you a great deal."
"I wish I could remember him," she said, wistfully.
"I know."
"I wonder how old I was, when I was sent to the institution."
And so it went, with the questions going round and round and round.
My sweet Alice.
"When this is all over… when things settle down a bit, we'll go find Laurent. We'll find out everything he knows and we'll try to get some answers for you, all right?" I asked.
"Really?"
"Of course."
"Thank you, Jasper."
"I love you, Alice."
"I love you, too."
I hoped we could discover some answers for Alice. Now that I had my own measure of peace I wanted her to find the same. Edward, the source of some of that very peace, was currently winding down from his stream of complaints about Jacob.
"I'm sorry to talk your ear off, but I needed to vent. The guy just gets to me. And it's not like I can say anything to Bella about him."
"I don't mind. Although I wish circumstances didn't require us to spend so much time apart. Where is Jacob now? You know he could probably hear everything you said. The wolves have sharpened hearing, even in human form."
"Yeah, I already figured that out the hard way. Don't ask," he said, his voice filled with chagrin.
I laughed.
"Anyway, he's out patrolling the neighborhood. Or chasing stray cats or something. I think Bella and I are going to catch a movie later tonight. Get a last night of relaxation in before school starts up again. I wish Mike hadn't had to go back to Chicago already. I barely got to see him this break."
"The movies sounds like fun. I wish I could join you."
"I wish you could too," he said before falling silent.
I ached to hold him, to be with him again.
"I miss you." My longing pulled the words from my lips.
"I know." It wasn't arrogance that drove the response; he knew because he felt the same.
"It won't be much longer."
"I hope you're right."
We fell silent again, and I knew each of us was avoiding hanging up the phone, not wanting to sever the connection. As I tried to think of something to say, something to ease the ache of separation, I heard the sound of voices in the background.
"Jacob's back. I guess I better go."
"All right. Have fun tonight."
"Thanks."
"Goodbye, Edward."
"Goodbye."
As I reached to hang up the phone, I heard Edward say, "Wait!"
"What is it?"
"Just… be careful."
"I will. I promise."
"Okay. I'll talk to you later. Will you maybe call me again later tonight?"
"Of course."
"Okay. Goodbye."
"Goodbye."
I hung up the phone and headed out for the woods again. The pack had caught James' scent earlier and I wanted to examine the area for myself, to see if I could discern a pattern to his movements.
I returned to Forks that evening, discouraged anew. James' movements seemed totally random. I felt almost as if we were being led on a wild goose chase. As I walked in the door Alice greeted me excitedly.
"Jasper, I was just about to call you. I saw something. Victoria is heading toward Seattle. She's planning to break into the house and wait for me. They're splitting up—James here and Victoria there—in case I decide to return when school starts again. They want to cover their bases."
Finally, a break. I gave Alice a hug. "I'm going to give Jacob a call to let him know. If he can hold Victoria there until we arrive, we can try and find out where James is from her."
"I want to come with you."
"It will be safer for you here."
"I'll be safest with you."
I couldn't disagree.
"Please, Jasper. I'm tired of being cooped up here, and this way I'll be right there if I have another vision."
"If you have another vision, you can call me on the phone," I argued, but I already knew I wouldn't be traveling back to Seattle alone.
"Jacob?" I said when he answered the phone.
"Yeah."
"Where are Bella and Edward?"
"I dropped them off at the movies. I'll be picking them up in a bit."
"Victoria's coming to Seattle," I explained. "She'll be there shortly, at Alice and Edward's house. Can you get over there and make sure she doesn't leave? And don't kill her. We need her to find out how to get James."
"I'm on my way. Can you text them and let them know where I am? Have them wait at the theater until one of us can pick them up."
"Will do. We'll be there as fast as we can."
After explaining the latest developments to Emmett, who would relay them to Sam, Alice and I started off for Seattle. We chose to run, rather than drive, in order to get there faster. When we were on the outskirts of the city, Alice came to an abrupt halt. I could see the blank expression on her face that indicated she was having another vision.
When here eyes refocused on mine, she looked shell shocked.
"It's not me," she whispered, horrified. "It was never me. It was all just a game. He's after Bella. James wants his revenge by taking Bella away from me, just as he tried to hurt the vampire in the institution by taking me from him. Jasper, he's going to kill Bella," her voice had risen to almost hysterics.
I was on the phone immediately, instructing Emmett to reach the pack, so they could let Jacob know. Then we were running, as fast as we could, trying to reach Bella, the one Alice loved best in the world after her family, before James did.
I couldn't even think about the fact that Edward was with Bella. I couldn't think about it. I had to put it out of my head completely. We had to get to Bella.
Alice and I raced side by side, the cold night air whipping past our faces. I felt the chill, even through my ice cold skin. I wanted to speak reassurances, to tell Alice we had nothing to worry about, but I was too terrified.
It all played out in front of my eyes like a horrible dream, everything happening at once. I was helpless to stop any of it.
Bella and Edward, who had been sitting on the curb of the empty parking lot, were scrambling to their feet in panic as large blue van barreled straight toward them, James at the wheel. Jacob, like Alice and I, was racing toward them, but we were all too far away to reach them in time. I watched as Edward reached over to shove Bella out of the way of the speeding vehicle an instant before the van connected with his body with a sickening thud, throwing his limp form through the air to land yards away.
My anguished "NOOO" thundered through the night over the screeching sound of brakes as Jacob leapt at the figure fleeing from the van and caught him around the throat. With a savage growl, sleek fur shining in the moonlight, he ripped James' head from his neck and shook it violently between his powerful jaws.
I rushed to Edward's side and dropped to my knees, begging him to still be alive. I felt a pulse, but just barely. His body was crushed and blood dripped from the side of his mouth; I knew his injuries were beyond help. I was huddled over him, sobbing, praying, babbling nonsense, when I felt Alice's firm grip on my shoulder, shaking me.
"You have to turn him, Jasper. You have to do it now. You don't have much time."
"Absolutely not," Jacob's voice cut in. I looked up to see him towering over us, naked and angry, still wound up from his kill. I knew that feeling, the high of battle, the rush of power. "You do and I'll destroy you both."
"He has to," Alice argued. "Edward's going to die."
"Better death than the unnatural existence of your kind," Jacob spat.
I leapt to my feet. "You're one to talk about unnatural existence, dog."
"Don't think for a second that I'm going to kill one blood sucker only to let another take its place," he growled.
"I promised him," I roared.
"Then you'll break the treaty, and your family will no longer be protected from our kind," he ground out in return. "You'll all be dead then."
My body shifted in an automatic reflex, taking the stance of war. I was ready to fight him, to decimate him where he stood, the arrogant pup, delaying my ability to ensure Edward's survival.
We circled each other warily, gauging the other's weaknesses. Before either of could make a move, Bella was between us, pushing Jacob backwards, her hands against his chest. A trickle of blood painted her forehead where she had hit her head on the pavement.
"Stop it you two. Stop it! Jacob, Edward is dying. You have to let them save him!"
"That's not saving him, Bella," Jacob yelled back. "That's damning him, and who knows how many others, once he gets his first taste of blood."
"They're not like that. You know that. Jacob, please," Bella begged. "What if it were me? What if I were going to die and you had the chance to save me? That could have been me. What if it had been me?" Tears poured down her face. She clung to him, sobbing, begging for Edward's life.
I was going to do what I needed regardless, but I hesitated, giving him the opportunity to make the right choice. His internal struggle was written on his face, but as he looked into Bella's beseeching eyes, I could see his expression soften. He reached a shaking hand up to gently touch her cheek, and I could see the reality of how close he came to losing her—and would have were it not for Edward—finally take hold. He shut his eyes, giving a small nod of his head, before burying his face in her hair.
I was back at Edward's side instantly, checking to make sure he was still with us. I was gripped with a paralyzing fear. Now that the moment was upon us, I wondered if I could actually follow through. I had promised, but could I really turn him into ice and stone? Could I bear to send him through the flames and freeze him in time for all eternity? Could I transform him into something like me?
This wasn't how it was supposed to happen. I raged at the unfairness of it all, at everything that had happened to Edward in his short human life. And now, just as things were going well, now that we were both so happy, for this to happen…
"Jasper, you don't have time. You have to do it now," Alice's frantic voice spoke in my ear.
I took a deep breath, steeling myself, remembering my promise and praying with everything in me that this was what he truly wanted. Then I cradled the broken body of my beloved boy in my arms and kissed his face gently before sinking my teeth into the soft skin of his throat.
His blood gushed into my mouth and I swallowed greedily. It had been years, decades since I had tasted such bliss and I closed my eyes in pleasure, groaning against his neck. I could taste each exquisite drop, feel it streaming through my body, feel my cock responding to the unbearable ecstasy. And because it was Edward's blood, it was only more precious, more satisfying than any meal I had ever drunk before. Edward's life was flowing into me setting every nerve on fire, filling me with euphoria. I never wanted this feeling to end, I thought, as the blood poured through me, intoxicating me. I moaned against his skin again, losing myself in the taste, in the heady aroma, reveling in the potent power of his life's blood. I never wanted this feeling to end.
Never.
I reared back in horror, recognizing the pull of the blood lust, realizing I was on the verge of succumbing to it as I had so many times in the past, knowing I had been seconds away from losing control and draining my beloved completely dry. I could feel my body's arousal, knew there'd be a flush on my cheeks, and I was filled with disgust at the thought of taking pleasure while his very life was being drained from his body.
Alice was at my side, murmuring words of encouragement, telling me I had done well, that my reaction was natural, that Edward would be grateful it had been me, that he would want me to have this gift.
I stared down at Edward's face, pale like a ghost, my emotions threatening to tear me apart.
Now all we could do was wait.
Chapter 24 | Masterpost | Poetry
Chapter 22 | Masterpost
setting the clock for resurrection.
Or is it the clock unraveled, the numbers flown?
There's nothing that hasn't found home there:
discarded wings, lost shoes, a broken alphabet.
Everything but sleep. And night begins
with the first beheading
of the jasmine."
-Li-Young Lee, "Pillow", l. 15-22
Chapter 23 - The First Beheading of the Jasmine
JPOV
God, the heat. Every touch seared fire across my skin. His hands on my chest burned and my own were aflame, red hot, resting on his thighs as he rocked above me. As I sunk deep inside him, his body embracing me, I thought I might combust in a raging inferno. But it was his eyes, his beautiful eyes, darkened with passion that threatened to incinerate me, his fiery gaze penetrating so deeply, I could almost believe he was branding his emotions onto my very soul.
When I was with him like this, joined so intimately, my senses accessing the recesses of his innermost feelings, I felt bathed in his love, its power a benediction transforming me from ice and stone to flesh and bone. And when we reached the peak of our pleasure, I was completely consumed in the conflagration, flesh combusting to flame, bone crumbling to ash. In those divine moments of cataclysmic annihilation, I understood, finally, immortality.
I was reborn in his arms, his sweet kisses, the tender stroking of his hands, calling me back to my body, back to a place of thought and touch and sound, his quiet proclamations of devotion landing in my ears, pulling me back to the things of the earth. Then his mouth was on mine, our tongues languidly tangling together and I closed my eyes, treasuring the bittersweet impulse to want to freeze time.
"I love you more than words could ever express," I whispered to him, and he answered in kind, pulling me closer and letting his fingers, his lips, his body speak.
I never imagined it was possible to feel this much joy.
Edward was sleeping. I had watched him for hours, studying the gentle rise and fall of his chest, breathing deeply as he exhaled close to my face, the tiny puffs of air a lover's caress. He had fallen asleep after we had made love, limbs wrapped tightly around me. I held him in my arms until I felt his skin start to chill, then I had reluctantly pulled away, careful not to wake him, and wrapped him in a blanket before taking a place back by his side.
I heard Alice in the kitchen and I leaned over to gently place a kiss on the top of Edward's head, filling my lungs with his scent to keep him with me before easing out of bed.
She smiled as I joined her and I gave her one in return.
"Were you hunting?" I asked, noting the slight flush on her cheek.
"Yes. It's a beautiful night. Why don't you go? I'll stay here with Edward."
"All right. Thank you." I gave her a hug before heading out.
I had tried to hunt more frequently since our return from Mexico. I no longer feared succumbing to thirst and drinking from Edward in a lapse of control, but with our greater intimacy and closeness, I found that regular feedings helped minimize the burn.
As I sped through the woods, listening to the sounds of the night, I recalled other times similar to this where I ran, attempting to escape the impossibility of my existence. The urge to flee still hit at times, but it was different in every way from before.
My family couldn't be happier for us. When I was in Forks, I'd sense Carlisle's pride, his deep satisfaction at the easing of my heartache, a welcome change from the helplessness his compassionate nature had always found hard to bear. Esme practically beamed when she saw Edward and me together. She'd look on us with such maternal affection, I'm sure there would be tears in her eyes were it possible. Emmett, of course, was highly enthusiastic about our physical relationship, something that was impossible to hide from sharp vampire senses. The scent of our arousal was evident whenever we were together, not to mention our inability to keep our hands off each other. Rosalie had learned of Edward's decision to remain human; her approval was without question.
Then there was Alice… my dear sweet Alice. Her joy at our happiness rivaled my own.
It was all good. Almost too good. And that's why I sometimes found myself hurtling through the forest, my feet flying across the ground. I was unaccustomed to these emotions, this deep happiness, the sense of being loved and the accompanying belief it might actually be something I deserved. Sometimes it was too much and I felt as if I might burst out of my own skin.
After racing for hours, the nervous energy would wear off and I could return home with the ability to accept the abundance that was now my life.
The sun was rising and I hurried back, eager to catch that first glimpse of Edward as he emerged from slumber. I loved the way his eyes would search for mine and the lazy, sleepy smile that would creep across his face when he first awoke. He'd rub his eyes then greet me with a quiet, "hey," his voice rough from sleep, and then he'd reach for me, pulling me down next to him so I could feel his erection. If it were a weekend, or a day without a morning class, we'd lie in bed and make love. If he needed to get ready for school, he'd groan piteously, grinding himself against my thigh, and I'd laugh and then make him coffee while he took his shower.
Alice smiled as me as I sat at the table drinking coffee, after sending Edward off to class with a passionate kiss.
"I can't believe you still drink that stuff," she mused with a smile.
"Caffeine is addictive," I joked.
She rolled her eyes. "You don't have to pretend with me, Jasper. I understand why you do." She wrinkled her nose adorably. "But don't you think it might be easier to, I don't know, borrow his shirt or something?"
I laughed, loving her teasing, and at the same time, smiling to myself at the thought of borrowing some of his clothes that were permeated with his scent, keeping them next to my skin while he was away. That didn't mean I would give up the coffee, though. The taste of coffee was the taste of Edward's lips.
Alice was smiling at me fondly, no doubt following my train of thought.
"And do you really need reminders of Edward anymore? I mean, you practically live here."
I looked around the room, noting a few of my books interspersed with hers and Edward's belongings. I thought of the clothing I kept in his room.
"I think you should talk to Edward soon, and move some more of your things over here and make it official."
At her suggestion, I saw our future stretching out before us, Edward and I sharing the everydayness of life, watching him wake in the morning and having him fall asleep in my arms every night. I saw him graduating from college and going to law school. I saw our love continuing to grow as we traveled the years together. I could picture him as he aged, the lines around his eye and his mouth growing deeper, the hair at his temples gaining touches of grey, yet always so beautiful. I could see him, middle-aged, envisioning that I might shift to the role of his young lover, wondering how long we could get away with our age disparity without raising eyebrows. Maybe I'd get a job, teach history at the University, to add some gravitas to my image. I smiled at the thought. I felt a sense of peace seeing his human life play out in my mind, realizing that I'd be able to accept whatever future he chose, even if he decided never to be turned.
"Really?" I asked.
"Yes, really," she said with a gentle smile.
I was touched by the emotions I felt from her, always the undercurrent of longing, but there was nothing but pure joy for me. Her perpetual hopefulness humbled me. I owed her everything.
Reaching for her hand, I tugged her into my lap, wrapping my arms around her and burying my face in her hair.
"Thank you, Alice, for everything. For finding me and pulling me out of the darkness. For teaching me a new way of life. For my family. For Edward."
"I'm just happy that you're happy, Jasper," she said, her voice muffled against my chest.
I wrapped my arms around her tighter still.
I hung up the phone, my mind racing. Immediately, I called over to the house.
"Where's Alice?" I barked when Esme answered the phone.
"She's right here," Esme answered surprised. "What's going on Jasper?" I'm sure she could hear the tension in my voice.
"I'm coming over. I'll tell you when I get there. Keep Alice there. Don't let her leave."
"I will. Jasper?" I heard the fear in Esme's voice, her mothering instincts at the ready sensing a threat to one of her brood. I was glad Emmett and Rosalie were with her.
"I'll be over soon. Just keep her there. Keep her safe."
Edward was listening to our conversation, a concerned expression on his face. We had come to Forks for the weekend and were checking on the Masen house before heading over to pack up some of my things to move back to Seattle. When I finished my call with Esme, he asked, "Who was that call from before? What's going on?"
"Alice is in danger."
"What? How? From whom?"
"That was Tanya. Let's go; I'll tell you in the car."
As we drove over, I relayed the conversation I had had with Tanya.
"Jasper?" she asked when I answered my cell.
"Tanya!" I had exclaimed, happy to hear from her. "It's good to hear your voice."
"I'm so sorry this isn't a social call. I need to talk to you. Warn you."
"Tell me."
"You remember Laurent?" I felt an ache in my chest remembering my days in Alaska and the green eyed young man pressed between Irina and Laurent, his body brought to pleasure before me, a reminder of all I had foolishly left behind and almost lost forever.
"Yes."
"If you recall, he was traveling with two other nomads, but stayed behind with us for a while, intrigued by our lifestyle."
I acknowledged her reminder.
"He grew dissatisfied with an animal diet and eventually left to rejoin his friends. Luckily, he was with us—or at least Irina—long enough to feel some measure of loyalty. One of his companions is a vampire named James. A tracker. He knows your Alice. Knew her. When she was human."
"What?" I asked, shocked.
"Jasper, he calls her 'the one who got away.'"
I froze, my body immediately on alert.
"Laurent called when he realized James had recognized her from his stories of his time with us. Even though Laurent hasn't met Alice, we certainly discussed her and her gift. He knows we consider all of you family. Laurent won't turn against James, but he felt he had to warn us. James plans to track her… to finish what he started decades ago."
"Tell me everything you know," I demanded.
"I don't know much. Alice was a patient in a mental institution. One of the employees, a vampire, befriended her. This vampire and James were enemies. I don't know the details of any of that, how or why. Only that James planned to hurt his rival by killing Alice, but she had already been turned by her friend before he got the chance. James destroyed the other vampire in retaliation, but apparently, never got over being thwarted."
"Where are they now?"
"I don't know. But be careful. Laurent says not to underestimate James. He's extremely intelligent and absolutely lethal. He'll never give up."
Then I'd have to destroy him. I had no qualms about what I'd need to do. Loving Edward had so radically changed me that I no longer despised the monster I had once been, nor the killer who still resided within me. Indeed, in this moment I was grateful for my battle scars, my years of strife. I doubted James had ever been faced with an adversary like me before.
"He's traveling with his mate, a red haired woman named Victoria. If I learn more, I'll let you know."
When I had finished relaying the conversation to Edward, he mused, "I bet those were the vampires Bella was talking about over Thanksgiving."
"What?" I looked over at him in surprise.
"Yeah, she said Jacob and the pack had chased off a couple of nomad vampires recently."
"I better have Carlisle talk to Sam," I determined.
After meeting with the family and discussing the situation with the pack, several decisions had been reached. Emmett and I, along with the wolves, would hunt for this James and his mate. Alice would stay in Forks with Esme, Carlisle and Rosalie. The wolves offered to expand their regular patrols to include our house. Alice complained at first, insisting she was perfectly capable of fighting if necessary, but agreed with the plan after we discussed it would be easier if she stayed in once place, in order to try and draw them near.
For Edward's protection, in case James came looking for Alice in Seattle, he would temporarily move out and stay with Bella at her apartment. Her planned move to Seattle and enrollment at the University had finally come to fruition and she would be starting classes after the end of winter break. Jacob would also live with them both. It was likely an unnecessary precaution, but Jacob refused to leave Bella unprotected and I had to admit that I was grateful for his presence, since I would be unable to stay close to Edward while hunting James.
Already, I felt a pang of disappointment that what was supposed to have been our first night officially living together had been disrupted. Alice had planned to stay in Forks for the rest of the break while Edward and I went back to Seattle, giving us some time on our own. Instead, Edward would be bunking with Bella and the shape-shifter while I prowled the forests for James and Victoria. It was a disappointment, but a small price to pay; I'd do anything to keep Alice safe.
I drove with Edward back to Seattle to get him settled with Bella before returning to Forks. Jacob was already at the apartment and scowled when he opened the door. Bella pushed past him to give Edward a hug.
"Hey, I'm so glad you're staying here. The circumstances suck, but this will be so much fun," she said pulling back with a big smile. She reached over to give me a hug as well and I watched Jacob's lip curl up in disgust as his expression darkened.
She released me from the hug, but held tightly to my arm. "Please keep Alice safe."
"I will."
"Good. I'll, um, just wait inside while you two say goodbye," Bella said, leaving Edward and me in the doorway.
Edward reached out for my hands and took them in his. As he stared at me, I could see the worry in his eyes.
"I know you've been in, like, a million battles, but… please be careful." His voice dropped to a whisper as he spoke. Then he tugged me towards him and let go of my hands to wrap his arms around me and hold me close. I could feel the beating of his heart against my chest. He was so warm and vibrant. I vowed to hunt James relentlessly, the sooner to be able to come home to my beautiful boy.
I leaned back, putting my fingers under his chin, so I could raise his face from where it was buried against my shoulder.
"I'll be fine. And Alice will be safe. Okay?" I said quietly, looking into his expressive green eyes. He didn't answer.
"Okay?" I asked again, a little more forcefully.
"Okay," he conceded. "I'm just worried. And I'll miss you," he added softly. "I've kind of gotten used to you watching me sleep."
"I've kind of gotten used to watching you sleep, too," I replied with a smile.
Then he leaned closer and our lips met. I was lost in Edward, lost in his touch, his taste, his feel. He melted against me and his hands reached up to bury themselves in my hair as he groaned into my mouth. The embers he seemed to always carry with him flared to life and I felt myself being consumed in his heat—his love, desire, passion, want, a flame burning through me.
"Ugh," a deep voice said in disgust from inside the apartment. "At least shut the door. I do not need to see this."
We reluctantly pulled apart with a small laugh, although my body ached at the separation. Edward rolled his eyes, pupils still wide, and muttered, "Going to be so much fun, my ass."
He shut his eyes for a moment and I could feel him trying to gain control of himself, reining in the desire that our touches had unleashed. He took a few deep breaths then opened his eyes to give me his crooked grin as he adjusted himself with a grimace. Next he took my hand and brought it to his chest, spreading my fingers open, over his heart. He held it there, with his hands over mine.
"Feel," he commanded.
And I did. I felt the rapid beat of his heart, the blood rushing through the arteries. I felt the heat of his skin. I felt life, his life, pulsing under my fingers. And I felt his love, deep and pure. I felt his devotion, unwavering. I felt his fear, his worry, too, but it was eclipsed by the enormity of his love.
"Promise me you'll come back," he said, his intense stare pinning me in place.
"I promise."
"Okay." He dropped his hand and pulled me to him for one last kiss, thorough and deep, claiming me, owning me, even though I was his already. Completely.
He stepped away, entered the apartment and closed the door behind him, leaving me standing on the other side.
"I hope you two plan to take showers," I heard Jacob snarl through the door. Bella's indignant voice answered him back.
I shook my head laughing, and with a reluctant heart, set out into the darkness.
"Oh my god, Jasper, you have got to hurry up and catch James. You have no idea what it's like living with him. I can't imagine what Bella sees in the guy. He's such a dick," Edward complained to me over the phone. "Do you know what he said today? I never knew there were so many vampire insults in the English language. He said…" I listened as Edward recounted yet another story about Jacob, his irritating, insulting, hot-headed, shape-shifting, temporary roommate. I didn't mention that I suspected Jacob's hostility had more to do with Edward's de-flowering of his imprintee rather than his chosen mate being a vampire.
The separation from Edward aside, I was frustrated as well. After hunting James for over a week, we were still unable to catch him or Victoria. We had been close several times, but somehow, they always managed to elude us. Alice's gift had been of little help. She'd see small flashes, but they changed too fast, were too brief to make any sense.
The entire situation was hitting her hard. Finally, she had some pieces of her human past, but the tiny details we knew left her with far more questions than answers.
"Do you think my family put me in the institution?" she had asked, her voice laced with sadness.
"I don't know."
"I probably had visions as a human."
"Probably."
"They must have thought I was mad.
"I wonder what he was like, the vampire who turned me," she continued without waiting for a response, and indeed, what sort of response could I have given?
"I don't know."
"I wonder if I'll ever know his name."
I didn't comment, just pulled her into my lap.
"It sounds like he cared about me, though. Do you think it sounded like he cared about me?"
"Yes. It sounds like he cared for you a great deal."
"I wish I could remember him," she said, wistfully.
"I know."
"I wonder how old I was, when I was sent to the institution."
And so it went, with the questions going round and round and round.
My sweet Alice.
"When this is all over… when things settle down a bit, we'll go find Laurent. We'll find out everything he knows and we'll try to get some answers for you, all right?" I asked.
"Really?"
"Of course."
"Thank you, Jasper."
"I love you, Alice."
"I love you, too."
I hoped we could discover some answers for Alice. Now that I had my own measure of peace I wanted her to find the same. Edward, the source of some of that very peace, was currently winding down from his stream of complaints about Jacob.
"I'm sorry to talk your ear off, but I needed to vent. The guy just gets to me. And it's not like I can say anything to Bella about him."
"I don't mind. Although I wish circumstances didn't require us to spend so much time apart. Where is Jacob now? You know he could probably hear everything you said. The wolves have sharpened hearing, even in human form."
"Yeah, I already figured that out the hard way. Don't ask," he said, his voice filled with chagrin.
I laughed.
"Anyway, he's out patrolling the neighborhood. Or chasing stray cats or something. I think Bella and I are going to catch a movie later tonight. Get a last night of relaxation in before school starts up again. I wish Mike hadn't had to go back to Chicago already. I barely got to see him this break."
"The movies sounds like fun. I wish I could join you."
"I wish you could too," he said before falling silent.
I ached to hold him, to be with him again.
"I miss you." My longing pulled the words from my lips.
"I know." It wasn't arrogance that drove the response; he knew because he felt the same.
"It won't be much longer."
"I hope you're right."
We fell silent again, and I knew each of us was avoiding hanging up the phone, not wanting to sever the connection. As I tried to think of something to say, something to ease the ache of separation, I heard the sound of voices in the background.
"Jacob's back. I guess I better go."
"All right. Have fun tonight."
"Thanks."
"Goodbye, Edward."
"Goodbye."
As I reached to hang up the phone, I heard Edward say, "Wait!"
"What is it?"
"Just… be careful."
"I will. I promise."
"Okay. I'll talk to you later. Will you maybe call me again later tonight?"
"Of course."
"Okay. Goodbye."
"Goodbye."
I hung up the phone and headed out for the woods again. The pack had caught James' scent earlier and I wanted to examine the area for myself, to see if I could discern a pattern to his movements.
I returned to Forks that evening, discouraged anew. James' movements seemed totally random. I felt almost as if we were being led on a wild goose chase. As I walked in the door Alice greeted me excitedly.
"Jasper, I was just about to call you. I saw something. Victoria is heading toward Seattle. She's planning to break into the house and wait for me. They're splitting up—James here and Victoria there—in case I decide to return when school starts again. They want to cover their bases."
Finally, a break. I gave Alice a hug. "I'm going to give Jacob a call to let him know. If he can hold Victoria there until we arrive, we can try and find out where James is from her."
"I want to come with you."
"It will be safer for you here."
"I'll be safest with you."
I couldn't disagree.
"Please, Jasper. I'm tired of being cooped up here, and this way I'll be right there if I have another vision."
"If you have another vision, you can call me on the phone," I argued, but I already knew I wouldn't be traveling back to Seattle alone.
"Jacob?" I said when he answered the phone.
"Yeah."
"Where are Bella and Edward?"
"I dropped them off at the movies. I'll be picking them up in a bit."
"Victoria's coming to Seattle," I explained. "She'll be there shortly, at Alice and Edward's house. Can you get over there and make sure she doesn't leave? And don't kill her. We need her to find out how to get James."
"I'm on my way. Can you text them and let them know where I am? Have them wait at the theater until one of us can pick them up."
"Will do. We'll be there as fast as we can."
After explaining the latest developments to Emmett, who would relay them to Sam, Alice and I started off for Seattle. We chose to run, rather than drive, in order to get there faster. When we were on the outskirts of the city, Alice came to an abrupt halt. I could see the blank expression on her face that indicated she was having another vision.
When here eyes refocused on mine, she looked shell shocked.
"It's not me," she whispered, horrified. "It was never me. It was all just a game. He's after Bella. James wants his revenge by taking Bella away from me, just as he tried to hurt the vampire in the institution by taking me from him. Jasper, he's going to kill Bella," her voice had risen to almost hysterics.
I was on the phone immediately, instructing Emmett to reach the pack, so they could let Jacob know. Then we were running, as fast as we could, trying to reach Bella, the one Alice loved best in the world after her family, before James did.
I couldn't even think about the fact that Edward was with Bella. I couldn't think about it. I had to put it out of my head completely. We had to get to Bella.
Alice and I raced side by side, the cold night air whipping past our faces. I felt the chill, even through my ice cold skin. I wanted to speak reassurances, to tell Alice we had nothing to worry about, but I was too terrified.
It all played out in front of my eyes like a horrible dream, everything happening at once. I was helpless to stop any of it.
Bella and Edward, who had been sitting on the curb of the empty parking lot, were scrambling to their feet in panic as large blue van barreled straight toward them, James at the wheel. Jacob, like Alice and I, was racing toward them, but we were all too far away to reach them in time. I watched as Edward reached over to shove Bella out of the way of the speeding vehicle an instant before the van connected with his body with a sickening thud, throwing his limp form through the air to land yards away.
My anguished "NOOO" thundered through the night over the screeching sound of brakes as Jacob leapt at the figure fleeing from the van and caught him around the throat. With a savage growl, sleek fur shining in the moonlight, he ripped James' head from his neck and shook it violently between his powerful jaws.
I rushed to Edward's side and dropped to my knees, begging him to still be alive. I felt a pulse, but just barely. His body was crushed and blood dripped from the side of his mouth; I knew his injuries were beyond help. I was huddled over him, sobbing, praying, babbling nonsense, when I felt Alice's firm grip on my shoulder, shaking me.
"You have to turn him, Jasper. You have to do it now. You don't have much time."
"Absolutely not," Jacob's voice cut in. I looked up to see him towering over us, naked and angry, still wound up from his kill. I knew that feeling, the high of battle, the rush of power. "You do and I'll destroy you both."
"He has to," Alice argued. "Edward's going to die."
"Better death than the unnatural existence of your kind," Jacob spat.
I leapt to my feet. "You're one to talk about unnatural existence, dog."
"Don't think for a second that I'm going to kill one blood sucker only to let another take its place," he growled.
"I promised him," I roared.
"Then you'll break the treaty, and your family will no longer be protected from our kind," he ground out in return. "You'll all be dead then."
My body shifted in an automatic reflex, taking the stance of war. I was ready to fight him, to decimate him where he stood, the arrogant pup, delaying my ability to ensure Edward's survival.
We circled each other warily, gauging the other's weaknesses. Before either of could make a move, Bella was between us, pushing Jacob backwards, her hands against his chest. A trickle of blood painted her forehead where she had hit her head on the pavement.
"Stop it you two. Stop it! Jacob, Edward is dying. You have to let them save him!"
"That's not saving him, Bella," Jacob yelled back. "That's damning him, and who knows how many others, once he gets his first taste of blood."
"They're not like that. You know that. Jacob, please," Bella begged. "What if it were me? What if I were going to die and you had the chance to save me? That could have been me. What if it had been me?" Tears poured down her face. She clung to him, sobbing, begging for Edward's life.
I was going to do what I needed regardless, but I hesitated, giving him the opportunity to make the right choice. His internal struggle was written on his face, but as he looked into Bella's beseeching eyes, I could see his expression soften. He reached a shaking hand up to gently touch her cheek, and I could see the reality of how close he came to losing her—and would have were it not for Edward—finally take hold. He shut his eyes, giving a small nod of his head, before burying his face in her hair.
I was back at Edward's side instantly, checking to make sure he was still with us. I was gripped with a paralyzing fear. Now that the moment was upon us, I wondered if I could actually follow through. I had promised, but could I really turn him into ice and stone? Could I bear to send him through the flames and freeze him in time for all eternity? Could I transform him into something like me?
This wasn't how it was supposed to happen. I raged at the unfairness of it all, at everything that had happened to Edward in his short human life. And now, just as things were going well, now that we were both so happy, for this to happen…
"Jasper, you don't have time. You have to do it now," Alice's frantic voice spoke in my ear.
I took a deep breath, steeling myself, remembering my promise and praying with everything in me that this was what he truly wanted. Then I cradled the broken body of my beloved boy in my arms and kissed his face gently before sinking my teeth into the soft skin of his throat.
His blood gushed into my mouth and I swallowed greedily. It had been years, decades since I had tasted such bliss and I closed my eyes in pleasure, groaning against his neck. I could taste each exquisite drop, feel it streaming through my body, feel my cock responding to the unbearable ecstasy. And because it was Edward's blood, it was only more precious, more satisfying than any meal I had ever drunk before. Edward's life was flowing into me setting every nerve on fire, filling me with euphoria. I never wanted this feeling to end, I thought, as the blood poured through me, intoxicating me. I moaned against his skin again, losing myself in the taste, in the heady aroma, reveling in the potent power of his life's blood. I never wanted this feeling to end.
Never.
I reared back in horror, recognizing the pull of the blood lust, realizing I was on the verge of succumbing to it as I had so many times in the past, knowing I had been seconds away from losing control and draining my beloved completely dry. I could feel my body's arousal, knew there'd be a flush on my cheeks, and I was filled with disgust at the thought of taking pleasure while his very life was being drained from his body.
Alice was at my side, murmuring words of encouragement, telling me I had done well, that my reaction was natural, that Edward would be grateful it had been me, that he would want me to have this gift.
I stared down at Edward's face, pale like a ghost, my emotions threatening to tear me apart.
Now all we could do was wait.
Chapter 24 | Masterpost | Poetry
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