Fic - It Starts With A Rose [3/3]
Dec. 12th, 2011 11:05 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
arcadianmaggieSummary: The first time Andrew stumbles across Jesse's Flowers, he's looking to send his girlfriend flowers for her birthday.
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3
It was days before Andrew was able to speak to Jesse. After hanging up the phone with his agent, his life became an immediate whirlwind of decisions, plans, arrangements. He called Carey as soon as he got home, filling her in on the disastrous non-kiss (“Only you could manage to bloody the man’s nose,” she said wryly, but not without sympathy.), enlisting her help while he was out of town. She offered to keep an eye on his flat and check his messages and forward his mail, so that was one huge worry taken care of. Then it was contract reviewing, packing, flurries of calls with his agent, his agent’s assistant, and contacts in New York—about the script delivery, travel arrangements, accommodations once he landed, production scheduling. He barely had time to breathe.
It wasn’t until he was sitting on the plane waiting for his flight to take off that he had even a moment to think about what had happened with Jesse. He was exhausted from having been up most of the night in a mad panic and didn’t really think he could handle a conversation of any substance, especially when Jesse’s voice would only remind him what he was leaving behind. He needed to be thinking about the job he was starting tomorrow, not dwelling on his absolute failure as a romantic pursuer. Instead, he simply sent a text:
Last min film role. On way 2 NY. Will call when settled.
Then he turned off his phone and got out his script, wanting to review it before trying to grab some sleep on the flight.
Once he landed, he was thrust into the same crazy pace he had just left, getting settled at the hotel, grabbing a late dinner, then stealing a few hours sleep before a car picked him up at 5AM. He smiled when he noted the text Jesse had sent back sometime during his flight.
Congrats. Can’t wait to hear all about it.
A long day turned into a long evening as the production scrambled to make up time lost by the unexpected change in casting. When Andrew got back to the hotel, it was far too late to make a phone call, even with the three hour time difference to California. So that he didn’t risk waking Jesse, he called the shop instead of Jesse’s cell and left a tired, rambling message on the business’ voice mail, filling Jesse in on the role and letting him know he’d probably be out of touch for a while, if the day’s experience was anything to go by. His prediction proved all too accurate.
Jesse, however, continued to send periodic texts, and in quiet moments Andrew looked at them more times than he would ever admit to anyone.
Hope all is going well in NY.
Having coffee with Emma. She says hi.
Erica Albright sends her regards.
Hope the filming is going well.
Even though his role was physically demanding and required long hours on set and little for much else, Andrew had, at least, managed to shoot off a few texts himself now and then.
Crazy busy. Will call soon to ctch up.
Filming going well. Tell Emma and Erica hello.
There had also been one voice mail Andrew didn’t pick up until two days after it had been left, Jesse’s hesitant voice saying hello, he just wanted to say hi, hoped everything was going well, asking Andrew to maybe give him a call if he got a break, he’d love to hear how things were going.
He left another one back, again late at night on the shop’s voice mail, apologizing for only just now picking up the message, telling Jesse he hoped to have a break soon and he would try and call again. Andrew hesitated before hanging up, wanting to tell Jesse how much he missed him, but held back, thinking it wasn’t the time, especially while he was exhausted and emotionally vulnerable. He didn’t want to say too little, but he didn’t want to say too much either, especially as they hadn’t yet had a chance to even discuss what had happened—or hadn’t happened—the night before he left. So he just said a quiet goodnight and hung up the phone, deciding those sorts of sentiments would be better talked about in person. Then he replayed Jesse’s message again, listening to it over and over until he fell asleep.
Finally, once the production had gotten somewhat back on schedule, Andrew had his first day with the afternoon free. He immediately found a private spot to put in a call to Jesse.
“Hi, it’s Andrew,” he said when Jesse answered the phone. His heart was pounding and he was unaccountably nervous.
“Hi,” Jesse said, voice surprised. “You called. It’s good to… hi. How is the movie going?”
“It’s great. Busy, but… yeah… great.”
“That’s good. Good to hear.”
“Yeah.”
The line was quiet, neither of them speaking for a moment. As the silence lengthened, becoming awkward, Andrew searched for something to say.
“How’s your nose?” he asked, then cringed, not meaning to remind Jesse of his pitiful attempts at seduction and so not the way he intended to introduce the topic for discussion.
“It’s fine.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, really. It was nothing.”
“That’s good.”
Another awkward silence grew between them. Andrew wasn’t sure how to talk about what had happened, having almost convinced himself it was better they parted no more than friends, but now that he had brought it up, he felt he needed to say something.
“Look,” he began. “About that—”
“Hey, Andrew?” Jesse cut in.
“Yeah?”
“I hate to do this, since I know you’ve been busy and probably don’t have much time, but it’s picking up here at the shop and I’m going to have to go.”
“Oh,” Andrew said, taken slightly aback. “Yeah… sure. I understand. I’ll try again in a few days?”
“Yeah, that sounds great. It was good to hear from you. Glad things are going so well.”
“Thanks. I’ll talk to you soon?”
“Great, goodbye.”
“Goodbye.” And then Jesse was gone and Andrew was left staring at his phone in confusion, wondering what had just happened. That was not at all how he had expected their conversation to go.
Andrew tried Jesse several times more over the next few days, but never reached him in person. He left brief voice mails initially, but stopped leaving messages after the first couple of times. The texting continued, but though each new one made Andrew smile, he couldn’t help but feel dissatisfied at the limited interaction.
When Andrew realized he hadn’t heard anything from Jesse in almost a week, he checked back over the texts and noticed they had come further and further apart. When he realized he hadn’t received a response to the last three texts he had sent, he felt a sinking in his stomach and hoped his chances weren’t ruined completely. After the epic failure of the non-kiss at Jesse’s flat, Andrew had told himself it was for the best things hadn’t gone any further between them. But the longer he was away, the more time that spanned between contact with Jesse, the more Andrew realized how much he actually missed him. He missed him desperately—his sly humor, his comfortable presence, his beautiful smile. As he continued to re-play that one lone phone message over and over, just to hear Jesse’s voice, Andrew was forced to admit his feelings for Jesse were deeper and stronger than he had allowed himself to think about.
Well, he wasn’t going to make the same mistake twice. He could feel Jesse pulling further away, but that wasn’t going to stop him. There was something between the two of them; he was sure of it. Something special and worth fighting for. When he got home, he was going to take the first opportunity he got to plant a big fat kiss on Jesse’s gorgeous face and tell him how he felt. He had been stupid to not say anything before he left, stupid to not try harder to make Jesse his. Separations were always going to be a part of his career. His job may take him away again in the future, but the thought of having someone like Jesse waiting for him at home was enough to fill him with happiness. With a determined heart, he pulled out his phone and sent another text.
Wrapping in 2 wks. Will cu soon.
He wanted to say a lot more, but he had waited this long; he could wait two more weeks and tell Jesse in person.
-o-
Andrew backed out of the shop on autopilot, letting the door click shut softly behind him, walking rapidly down the block, putting as much distance as possible between himself and what he had just seen. His mind was a blank. He couldn’t think; he was unable to process anything, anything at all. That had not just happened. It couldn’t have.
He needed Carey.
He dialed her number automatically as he walked, noting curiously, as if he were watching someone else’s actions, that his hands were shaking.
“That was quick,” Carey said when she picked up. “How did it go?”
He tried to answer, but found his throat had locked up. He swallowed, trying to loosen it, but couldn’t get any words out. He stopped, rubbing the heel of his hand against his eyes, trying to get a grip.
“Carey?” His voice was small, and he heard it crack, but he was too upset to be embarrassed.
“Shit. Where are you?”
“I don’t know. Walking.”
“Stay put. I’m coming to get you.”
“Okay.”
“Don’t hang up.”
“Carey,” he practically whimpered, voice pleading. He couldn’t talk about it yet. He just couldn’t.
“You don’t have to say anything, all right? I just want to be able to find you.” He could hear the sound of a car door shutting in the background and then an engine starting.
True to her word, she didn’t expect him to talk. She kept up a running commentary about how far she was, chatting away about mutual friends, odd items she had read recently in the news, the movie she had seen over the weekend. Luckily, traffic wasn’t too horrible at that time of day, and it wasn’t long before she pulled up to the curb after spying him, sitting dejectedly against a wall, knees bent, head tipped back, eyes closed, phone cradled to his ear.
“Darling, you look pathetic,” she said with sympathy.
He opened his eyes and looked around, spying her nearby, then he unfolded his long limbs and made his way to the car, sliding in to the passenger seat. “Thanks,” he said, a pained smile on his face.
“Where to?” she asked. “My place, yours, or directly to the pub?”
He gave a weak laugh.
“Yours, if that’s okay.” He couldn’t go back to his flat right now. He’d only be reminded of how giddy and hopeful he had been just hours before. And he certainly wasn’t fit to be out in public. Chances are he’d be weeping embarrassingly before the day was over and absolutely no one needed to see that. He was sure to be handing over future blackmail material, but he could trust Carey to hold off on any mockery until he was adequately recovered from his heartbreak. He was fairly certain that day would never actually come.
Once settled back at her flat with a cup of tea, he knew he’d have to fill her in on the disaster that was supposed to have been his grand declaration and happily ever after.
“Well?” she asked. “What happened?”
He cringed as his mind replayed the scene he had walked in on. He had been so excited, so happy, finally going to see Jesse after all that time apart. He had taken an extra day or two after he had gotten home to catch up on his sleep, meet with his agent to deal with remaining paperwork, and to plan out exactly what he wanted to say. He had worked out detailed responses to every objection he thought Jesse might come up with until he was confident Jesse would be convinced they were meant to be together and unable to resist.
And then he had opened the door to the flower shop to find Jesse kissing someone else.
“He’s seeing someone.”
“Oh, honey, I’m sorry. But it can’t be that serious, can it? You weren’t out of town for that long, and you said it was only in the last few weeks he started pulling away, right?”
“It looked pretty serious.”
“Looked? Did you meet who he was seeing?”
“Not exactly.”
“Well, what happened then? What did Jesse say?”
“I didn’t actually speak to him.”
“Andrew, what exactly went on today?”
“I walked in on him kissing someone.”
“Oh.” She made a face. “Awkward.”
“No, awful.”
Carey patted his hand. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to make light. What happened then?”
“Then I left.”
“And he didn’t come after you to explain?”
“I’m quite sure he didn’t see me. He was sort of busy at the time.”
“Andrew.” She shot him an admonishing look. “How could you possibly know he doesn’t want to see you? Maybe you completely misinterpreted the situation.”
“I know I didn’t.” Andrew could still picture them, as clearly as if they were standing in front of him right now. Jesse’s hands were on the other man’s hips, loose and comfortable. The man, taller than Jesse and dark haired, was holding Jesse’s face between his hands and speaking quietly to him. Then he had leaned down toward Jesse’s upturned face and kissed him on the lips, softly and sweetly. When he pulled back, Jesse’s face wore a smile, and his arms had reached around the man’s waist to pull him closer. The moment was so intimate and tender, Andrew recoiled almost reflexively, feeling like the worst kind of intruder. It hadn’t been like a first kiss, or a getting to know you kiss, or a playful flirty kiss; the kiss had been one of familiarity, of obvious deep affection.
Andrew felt as if he couldn’t breathe, wanting that moment for his own. Wanting that to be him in Jesse’s arms, his mouth on Jesse’s lips. That should be him. It was supposed to be him. He was jealous, and angry, and heartbroken, and bewildered. He had left his flat full of nervous energy, excited and elated, convinced today would be the day everything changed for them. And it had, but not in the way he had expected. The worst part was he knew it was his own fault. He had fucked everything up, done everything wrong. And he had lost Jesse because of it. Or, not even lost him, because he never managed to get him in the first place. Someone else had slipped right in and stolen Jesse’s heart while Andrew had been dicking around, trying so hard not to screw everything up that there wasn’t anything there to screw up to begin with.
“But how can you know? Unless you talk to him—”
“Carey,” Andrew interrupted. “I know. I know what I saw.” When Carey looked like she was going to continue to argue the point, he added, “I screwed up. I’m too late. I may have been monumentally stupid about everything up until now, but of this I am sure. I had my chance and I blew it.”
Carey opened her mouth to speak again and Andrew cut her off, saying, “If you make a sex joke right now I may never forgive you. And I might actually cry.”
She snorted, giving him a sympathetic look, and opened her arms. “Come here,” she said. Hugging him tightly she said, “Tea isn’t really going to cut it, is it? Shall we get spectacularly drunk?”
Andrew nodded against her shoulder and gave a little laugh. If it sounded suspiciously like a sob, Carey would never tell.
--o--
Life without Jesse was, unsurprisingly, difficult to adjust to. Without a job lined up, Andrew had a lot of free time on his hands, time which before he would have spent bugging Jesse at his store, hanging out at the coffee shop down the street, watching movies at his flat. Jesse had called several times, but Andrew had let the calls go to voice mail, not trusting himself to speak. Jesse’s own voice was hesitant, hoping he had gotten settled back home okay, wondering when he’d have time to go grab some coffee, wanting to hear all about New York. And, he added, sounding even more uncertain, hoping they could talk.
That was a conversation Andrew could go forever without having, so he took the coward’s way out, texting a response, feigning first a bad cold, then a busy schedule. He knew he’d have to face Jesse eventually, but he didn’t think he could see him right now without falling apart. Then he begged his agent to find him some work, anything so that he wasn’t spinning his wheels and driving himself crazy, missing Jesse so much it hurt.
A week hadn’t passed before his agent rang up.
“Are you sitting down?” he asked. “I don’t know who you managed to impress, but it was someone important. David Fincher wants you for his new movie. He’s got a script by an up-and-coming talent that was apparently tailored with you specifically in mind. David Fincher, Andrew. This could be a career making movie.”
Heartbroken though he might be, Andrew had always been serious about acting. He knew what an opportunity this was. For the first time since he had seen Jesse kissing another man, he felt excited about something. Truly excited. Maybe life could go on, after all.
“That’s fantastic. Just let me know when and where for the audition and I’ll be ready.”
“Oh no. You don’t understand. There’s no audition. The part’s yours if you want it. Well, as long as Fincher’s happy with the table read he’s scheduled. But as long as you don’t screw that up, you’re in.”
“Wow.” Andrew was stunned. He knew how astronomical the odds were of something like this falling into his lap. It was every hopeful in Hollywood’s dream. “Wow,” he repeated. “I don’t know what to say.”
“I know.” His agent’s laugh was giddy. “Congratulations, kid. You done good.”
“Thanks. Just… thanks.”
“I’ve got a package being couriered over as we speak. Contracts, tentative schedule, copy of the script.”
“I can’t wait to read it. Who’s the writer?” Andrew didn’t even really care what the movie was about. If David Fincher was involved, it was bound to be excellent.
“Eisenstein, Einstein? Something like that. He’s done some television and some script doctoring for a few heavies in the past couple of years—Scorsese, Eastwood, some other big names. He’s pretty well known in writing circles, from what I understand, plus he wrote a short a few years back that got an Oscar nod. He and Fincher have been working on putting this project together for a while now.”
“Sounds fantastic. I want you to know how much I appreciate everything you’ve done for me. This is… yeah… a dream.”
“You deserve it. And, I am getting paid, after all.”
They both laughed and spent a few more minutes sharing Andrew’s good fortune. His agent finally said he should let him go; he was sure he’d want to make some calls to let people know the news.
When Andrew hung up, he immediately called his family, then some friends, Carey among the first, of course. They were all thrilled for him. The one person he wished he could call was Jesse. Jesse had always had faith in him, and Andrew knew he’d be happy for him, even if things hadn’t turned out the way he had hoped between them.
Feeling sentimental, he caved to the impulse and shot off a text.
Just landed a big role. Very excited.
Almost immediately, he received a response back.
That’s great! Coffee? Tell me all about it?
Although he was glad he had contacted Jesse, he didn’t think he was up for seeing him in person yet.
Wish I could but very busy rt now.
Maybe after his heartache eased, they could resume some of their old companionship. He had missed Jesse so much. More than anything he longed to drive right over and see those gorgeous blue eyes, watch his beautiful face crease into a dimpled smile. He knew he couldn’t handle it today, but given time... The thought of Jesse being out of his life forever was too harsh to bear. He’d rather have his friendship than nothing at all.
He pulled his phone back out and sent off another text:
When I know schedule better, will call.
His phone beeped again signaling a new text. He smiled when he saw what Jesse had written, a pang in his chest, sharp and bittersweet.
I’d like that a lot.
He was lost in thought when a new text came in:
Miss seeing you.
A lump formed in his throat as he read the words. He knew the feeling.
-o-
Andrew stopped in shock as he walked through the door for the table read.
“Emma?”
She looked up and wrinkled her nose in distaste.
“I should have known.”
He was completely surprised. When he asked who else had been cast, he was told the female lead was still up in the air. They were considering a few actors who were relative unknowns and wanted to gauge their chemistry during the table read before making a final decision. He hadn’t inquired further, knowing how much could change and figuring he’d wait until he had an actual name. Now he wished he had, so he could have prepared himself to face her.
Andrew took the seat next to her, and turned, about to make some small talk, but stopped at her scowl.
“What?” he asked, unnerved by her harsh stare.
“What?” she echoed in disbelief. “What?” she repeated. Her voice was incredulous.
“Yes, what? Why are you looking at me like that?”
She picked up her script from the table, eyes blazing, and started hitting him over the head with it.
“What were you thinking? How could you do that to him?”
“Ow! Stop it!” He held up his arm to ward off her blows. “What are you talking about?”
“What am I talking about? You’ve been home for weeks and you haven’t even stopped by to see him.”
He didn’t have to ask who she meant, although he would have thought the reason was obvious.
“Well, he’s seeing someone else. You’ll pardon me if I needed a little time to get over him.”
She stopped the assault and gave him another dark scowl. “What are you talking about? He’s not seeing anyone.”
“Yes, he is.”
“No,” she said slower, as if she were speaking to a simpleton, “he’s not.”
“Yes, he is,” he said back, mimicking her tone. “I saw them.”
“You saw shit,” she sneered. “You have no idea what you’re talking about. He’s crazy about you and you broke his heart. You,” she paused dramatically, “are an asshole.”
“Hey,” he protested.
Their conversation was interrupted by David Fincher breezing into the room.
“Ah, good. You’ve met. Emma… Andrew. Andrew… Emma.”
They both reined in whatever else they had to say while their director-to-be filled them in on the project, told them how happy he was to have them on board, and gave them a run down on how he expected the day to go.
“Now you both were hand-picked for this project and this is largely a formality. I’ve seen all your work, and my partner was really pushing for you both. So as long as we all feel we can work together for the long haul, we’ll be in business.”
Andrew looked at Emma out of the corner of his eye, hoping she wasn’t going to let the earlier tension affect their work. She was sliding a look at him as well and their eyes met in understanding. Whatever else was happening, they were both professionals; neither of them was going to fuck up this opportunity. They chatted amicably with David while the rest of the cast trickled in.
Luckily, the early scenes had their characters pitted in an antagonistic relationship. The dialog sparked and crackled between the two of them. David seemed delighted with how things were going.
“Your chemistry is great. If you were at all nervous about your parts, you can stop. You’re naturals together.”
Then he suggested a break for lunch, meeting back in an hour to read through the last half of the script.
Before Andrew could slip away, Emma had grabbed him by the elbow and was tugging him out of the room.
“You’re coming with me,” she said.
He jerked back his arm. “Fine.”
They found a sandwich shop down the street and sat at a table in the corner after their order was ready.
Andrew broke the silence. “So you said he wasn’t seeing anyone. Did they break up?” He had done his best to not think about what she had said while they were at the read, but he couldn’t help the surge of hope he felt.
“No,” she said, curling her lip.
His heart sunk with disappointment. “Oh.”
Emma rolled her eyes. “Because there was nothing to break up. I told you; he’s not seeing anyone. For whatever reason, he’s still hung up on you.” Her tone made it clear what she thought about that.
“But, he was kissing that guy. I saw them.”
“What guy?”
“The guy at the shop. I stopped by when I got back and they were...” he paused, clearing his throat to stop his voice from breaking, “they were kissing.”
“That doesn’t make any sense.”
“Neither do you,” he said churlishly. His heart was still battered and bruised. He didn’t need Emma making him feel even worse.
“Ha, ha.” Her response was automatic, almost absentminded. She looked lost in thought. “What did he look like?” she asked after a moment.
“Emma?” She looked up. “Look, I don’t want to talk about it. Okay?”
She must have seen something in his face. Her attitude softened. “Just humor me for a minute. I think this may all be just a big misunderstanding.”
At his skeptical look, she said, “No, really. So tell me, what did the guy look like?”
“I don’t know.” He was petulant, resentful she was making him re-live his worst moment. “Like a regular guy. He was a little taller than Jesse, short dark hair. Average build.”
As he spoke, Emma’s expression changed and she started nodding in understanding. “Justin. It had to have been.”
“Justin? His friend in New York?” Andrew had heard Jesse talk about him many times before, especially when Justin Timberlake’s name had come up in conversation.
“Yes, but he was in town recently, and it’d be just like him.”
“To kiss him on the lips?”
“Yes, he’s very hands-y.”
“And they’re not dating?” he asked, afraid to hope.
“God, no. They’ve known each other for forever. They’re like brothers.”
“Brothers who kiss each other on the mouth.”
Emma rolled her eyes again. “I’m telling you, it had to be Justin. Jesse’s been pining for you since you left for New York. You’re both pathetic, if you ask me.”
“Well, no one did.”
She curled her lip in a now familiar sneer. “Obviously, you should have. He’s convinced you’re straight and having a gay freak out after he almost kissed you. You’re convinced he’s dating his brother. Pathetic.”
“Justin’s not his brother.”
“Whatever.” She waved her hand dismissively. “The fact remains that you’re both hopeless. Completely hopeless. I’m amazed either of you ever manages to get laid.”
“Hey!”
“Deny it all you want, but—”
“Wait,” Andrew interrupted, “after Jesse almost kissed me? I was the one who tried to kiss him.”
“Pathetic,” Emma whispered into the air as an aside. “Yes, and then you raced off to New York and he barely heard from you again.”
“I was busy!”
“He was convinced you were avoiding him and just biding your time until you could give the ‘I just want to be friends’ speech.”
“No! I don’t want to be friends!”
“God,” she huffed in exasperation.
“I mean, of course I want to be friends. But I want to be more than that. You really think that was Justin? You think I have a chance?”
“Jesus, Andrew. How much more proof do you need that the boy’s madly in love with you? He wrote this entire part specifically for you. If that doesn’t give you an indication about his feelings, I don’t know what’s going to.”
“What?” His confusion was apparent.
“Unbelievable,” she muttered under her breath. “Did you even look at your script?”
“Of course I did.”
“Did you read the front page? You know, the part that said, ‘by J.A. Eisenberg’?”
“What?” He dug into his backpack and pulled out his copy, unfurling it from where the pages were curled around, stuck open at his first scene. He had been so excited to receive it, he had dove right in reading and never even looked at the cover. As he spread it flat on the table, he saw the words written in small black ink, right at the bottom, just as she had said. He ran his fingers over the print, whispering, “Jesse.”
To Emma he said, “I’m so fucking stupid.”
Her shoulders lifted in a shrug. “You’ll hear no argument from me.”
-o-
Andrew took a deep breath then pushed open the door to Jesse’s Flowers. His hands were sweating and his heart was racing, but there was no going back now. He had never been more determined about anything in his life. Jesse looked up as he entered the store and Andrew could see the shock register on his face. Then his bright blue eyes lit up and his face broke into a beautiful smile.
“Andrew,” he said, “it’s good to see you.”
Andrew couldn’t tear his eyes away from Jesse’s face. “It’s good to see you too,” he said, feeling like he had just uttered the biggest understatement ever made.
“I’d like to order some flowers,” he said next, plunging on before he lost his nerve. His stomach flipped uncontrollably, especially when he saw the smile on Jesse’s face falter just a bit.
“Of course,” Jesse replied smoothly, a professional mask stealing over his face. “That’s what we’re here for.”
Andrew walked to the counter and slipped a piece of paper toward Jesse. “I’d like them sent to this address.”
Jesse looked at the paper, taking a moment to register that the shop’s own address was written on it. Andrew could tell the second it sunk in and grinned as he saw the corners of Jesse’s mouth quirk up. Jesse looked at Andrew, a brilliant smile back on his face.
“Would you like help picking out an arrangement or did you have something specific in mind?” he asked.
“I know exactly what I want,” Andrew said.
“You do, do you?” Jesse asked, coming out from behind the counter.
“I do.” They couldn’t keep their eyes off each other.
“What do you want, Andrew?” Jesse asked in a breathless voice.
Andrew was close enough to feel the heat from his skin. He stared at Jesse’s mouth, those lush pink lips. He licked his own lips as he tried to focus. Then he shook his head to clear it and reached into his pocket to pull out another piece of paper. “I have a list,” he said.
“Of course you do,” Jesse said with a small fond laugh.
“Can I start with some hyacinth?” he asked, hoping Jesse would understand.
And of course he did. “I don’t think your arrangement needs hyacinth, but if you insist, I’m sure it would be accepted.”
“Really?”
“Absolutely.”
Andrew smiled. “Then how about some bell flowers.”
Jesse smiled back. “You’re welcome. But you deserve it, truly. I told you you were talented.”
“Still. Thank you, Jesse. I can’t tell you how grateful I am.”
“I don’t know. I think you’re doing okay so far.”
“I can do better.”
Jesse huffed out a laugh. “You can?”
“Yes. I also need some pink camellia.”
Jesse’s smile turned wistful. “I missed you too,” he admitted softly. “So very much.”
Andrew swallowed down a lump in his throat. He nodded, too overcome to speak. The words on his paper were blurring as he blinked back moisture from his eyes. He squinted, trying to read the next item from the list.
“Some… begonia, please?”
Jesse’s face scrunched up and he shook his head in mock sadness. “And you were doing so well.”
“Shit.” Andrew laughed, glad for the return of a little levity. “What did I just throw into the mix? I didn’t try to poison you, did I, like those poor cats from the shelter?”
“No, but you did just tell me to beware.”
“Shit. Shit, shit, shit. Obviously, that’s a mistake.”
“Obviously?” Jesse asked with a smile.
“Yes, obviously. The last thing I want to do is warn you away. You do know this whole thing ends with a perfect red rose, don’t you?”
“I think you mean it starts with a perfect red rose.”
“Yes, that. I suppose that’s what I can expect, falling in love with a writer. You’re not going to be correcting my grammar when I’m babbling incoherently during the throes of passion, are you?”
“I’m not sure,” Jesse said with a cheeky smile. “Let’s find out.”
So Andrew did the only thing he could possibly do when presented with a challenge like that: he leaned over and kissed Jesse’s beautiful lips.
It was perfect.
And then Jesse’s tongue was licking at the seam of his lips and he was humming into his mouth. Heat seared through Andrew and he opened his mouth to Jesse, moaning at the hot slide of tongues, overwhelmed that this moment was finally, finally here. Then they were pressing close to each other, hands desperate and grabbing, pulling closer, even closer. Andrew felt the tug of his shirt being freed from the waistband of his jeans, fingers sliding underneath, hand hot on his skin. He whimpered, grinding his hips into Jesse, biting down on his lip, wanting more. He needed more.
His hands roved down Jesse’s back and over the curve of his ass, pulling him even tighter against him, letting Jesse feel the effect he was having on him. “Can Erica mind the store?” he panted against Jesse’s lips.
“Closing early today,” Jesse panted back, moving toward the front door, dragging Andrew with him, kissing him all the while. He gave a breathless laugh as Andrew backed him against the door, pinning him with his body, mouth hungry on his neck, biting and sucking up to his ear. Jesse’s hand fumbled for the latch, trying to flip the deadbolt, but was made clumsy by the distraction of Andrew’s mouth on his skin. He cried out, tilting his head back when Andrew’s hand reached between them, squeezing the hardness between his legs. “Jesse,” Andrew breathed in his ear. “God, Jesse.”
Jesse’s hips bucked into Andrew’s hand then he was pushing Andrew away, hands against his shoulders. Andrew drew back, face flushed, eyes locked on Jesse’s mouth, mesmerized by his lips, full and kiss swollen. “Wait a second,” Jesse panted, chest heaving. Andrew watched as Jesse turned to the door, locking it in one quick motion, then flipping the sign hanging against the window to ‘closed’.
“Okay,” he said with a brilliant smile and then Andrew was on him again, ravaging his mouth, tongue tangling and exploring deep, as if he could never get enough of his taste. Jesse’s hands were under his shirt again, thumbs sliding over the muscles of his abdomen, feeling Andrew twitch in response. Then he was pushing the fabric up even more, head moving down to lick at his chest. It was Andrew’s turn to cry out as Jesse’s mouth latched around one of his nipples, wringing a response by more sucking and the scraping of his teeth. Then Jesse mouthed down his side, spreading open mouthed kisses over his skin, while his hand dipped below Andrew’s waistband, running his fingers through the soft trail of hair leading down.
He pulled back to see Andrew staring at him with desire plain on his face, mouth open, pupils blown wide. “Upstairs,” Jesse said and Andrew nodded in response, before both of them raced for the door separating the shop from Jesse’s flat, laughing as Jesse grabbed Andrew’s wrist, pulling him up the stairs. Jesse fumbled again with the lock, trying to get the door open while Andrew pressed up against his back, whispering dirty things in his ear.
Once inside, Jesse grabbed his wrist again dragging Andrew straight to the bedroom. He pushed him backwards on the bed then immediately straddled his hips, leaning over to give him a filthy kiss while grinding their erections together. Andrew’s head spun from the sensation and he bucked up before flipping them over, spreading Jesse’s legs with his knees and grinding back down.
“I want to fuck you,” he panted in Jesse’s ear before sucking along his jaw, all tongue and teeth, hot and wet. Jesse’s answering groan shot another pulse of desire through him and he shivered at the feel of Jesse’s hand scrabbling for his skin under his shirt, his legs lifting to wrap themselves around Andrew’s waist.
“Yes, God, yes,” Jesse moaned, his entire body trembling with desire. Andrew slipped his arms under Jesse’s shoulders than surged backward onto his knees, pulling Jesse with him so he was sitting straddling his lap. He ripped Jesse’s shirt over his head, then pulled his own off, biting at the join of his neck while scrambling to unfasten his pants. Jesse’s hands joined his and they worked his jeans open, pushing them down his hips as far as they would go. Andrew’s hand wrapped hot and hard around his dick, thumb sliding across the wet tip. He caught Jesse’s keening cry with his lips, and plunged his tongue back in his mouth while giving a few firm strokes. Jesse’s fingers dug into his shoulders, body taut, still shuddering.
Andrew pushed him back down on the bed, pulling his jeans the rest of the way off. Then he shucked his own before climbing back between Jesse’s legs, shoving them apart with his hands and leaning over to take his cock deep into his mouth.
Jesse’s sharp cry was the best sound he had ever heard. He reached up a hand to Jesse’s face and nudged at his lips with his fingers, feeling another surge of lust when Jesse’s mouth immediately opened, sucking his index and middle finger in, using his tongue to get them sloppy and wet.
Then he pulled his fingers free and brought them between Jesse’s legs, circling at his hole. He pushed one in as his tongue circled the head of Jesse cock, teasing under the ridge. Andrew took Jesse deep again, bobbing and sliding his mouth over his cock, hot and wet, tongue sucking and sliding, slipping his finger further in. Jesse’s head thrashed back and forth and his hands reached for Andrew head, tangling his fingers helplessly in his hair, moaning and opening his legs wider. Andrew responded to the blatant invitation by sucking him harder and sliding his finger in and out, pressing the second at his opening.
He pulled away for a second to ask, “Lube?” and Jesse nodded, leaning over to open the drawer at his bedside table. He ripped a condom from a strip and tossed it to Andrew with the bottle of lube, then he watched with heated eyes while propped up on his elbows as Andrew squirted some on his fingers and reached back between his legs. Jesse fell back down on the bed and opened his legs wide again, pushing against Andrew’s fingers.
Andrew chuckled at his impatience and didn’t waste any time getting back to where they had left off.
Andrew watched in awe as Jesse fell apart under him, moaning incoherently as his fingers pressed inside him. He was so tight and hot, his dick rigid and pulsing against Andrew’s tongue, the salty taste of his precome flavoring his mouth. He sucked and licked, pushing his fingers deeper, loving the way Jesse opened for him, desperate and wanting, pressing back down against his hand. He had never been more beautiful.
“Andrew,” Jesse begged, voice cracking. “God, I need you… need you…”
Andrew slipped his fingers out and pulled off Jesse’s cock, loving the small whine that left Jesse lips. He made quick work of putting on the condom and slicking himself up, then he was positioning himself between Jesse’s legs, lifting his thighs over his arms, and pushing in slow and deep in one long thrust. Jesse’s eyes stayed trained on his, dark and wide, eyelids fluttering. He felt incredible. So fucking incredible.
Andrew leaned over, face close, arms and back straining against the urge to push.
“Okay?” he asked, staring into Jesse’s beautiful blue eyes.
Jesse nodded yes.
“I don’t know if I can go slow,” Andrew choked out.
“Then don’t,” Jesse whispered, pushing his hips up and squeezing Andrew’s length.
A ragged cry burst from Andrew’s lips and he was pounding into Jesse, slamming into him hard and deep. Jesse met him thrust for thrust, dick bouncing on his stomach, smearing streaks of precome against his skin.
Andrew watched as Jesse reached up to pull himself off, his hand sliding over his cock, moving faster and faster until his entire body went taut, head thrown back, tendons in his neck straining as he shot streams of come over his chest. The sight was so erotic, Andrew’s own release tore through him and his cries joined Jesse’s as his hips snapped once more, dick pulsing again and again inside Jesse’s body.
When he was spent, he collapsed on top of Jesse, burying his face in his neck, heart pounding. Jesse turned his face to nuzzle into his hair, while his hands stroked lightly down Andrew’s back, soothing and tender.
After a few minutes, Jesse spoke. “I’m in love with you too, you know.”
Andrew struggled to move, completely languid and sated, but needing to see Jesse’s beautiful face. He hitched an elbow underneath him to give him the leverage he needed and lifted his head.
He stared into Jesse’s gorgeous blue eyes, roamed his gaze over that beloved face, wanting to catalogue every tiny detail of this moment.
He smiled, all the love and devotion he felt for this remarkable man shining strongly through.
“How fortuitous,” he said.
Jesse’s dimpled smile was everything he’d ever need.
The end.
It was days before Andrew was able to speak to Jesse. After hanging up the phone with his agent, his life became an immediate whirlwind of decisions, plans, arrangements. He called Carey as soon as he got home, filling her in on the disastrous non-kiss (“Only you could manage to bloody the man’s nose,” she said wryly, but not without sympathy.), enlisting her help while he was out of town. She offered to keep an eye on his flat and check his messages and forward his mail, so that was one huge worry taken care of. Then it was contract reviewing, packing, flurries of calls with his agent, his agent’s assistant, and contacts in New York—about the script delivery, travel arrangements, accommodations once he landed, production scheduling. He barely had time to breathe.
It wasn’t until he was sitting on the plane waiting for his flight to take off that he had even a moment to think about what had happened with Jesse. He was exhausted from having been up most of the night in a mad panic and didn’t really think he could handle a conversation of any substance, especially when Jesse’s voice would only remind him what he was leaving behind. He needed to be thinking about the job he was starting tomorrow, not dwelling on his absolute failure as a romantic pursuer. Instead, he simply sent a text:
Last min film role. On way 2 NY. Will call when settled.
Then he turned off his phone and got out his script, wanting to review it before trying to grab some sleep on the flight.
Once he landed, he was thrust into the same crazy pace he had just left, getting settled at the hotel, grabbing a late dinner, then stealing a few hours sleep before a car picked him up at 5AM. He smiled when he noted the text Jesse had sent back sometime during his flight.
Congrats. Can’t wait to hear all about it.
A long day turned into a long evening as the production scrambled to make up time lost by the unexpected change in casting. When Andrew got back to the hotel, it was far too late to make a phone call, even with the three hour time difference to California. So that he didn’t risk waking Jesse, he called the shop instead of Jesse’s cell and left a tired, rambling message on the business’ voice mail, filling Jesse in on the role and letting him know he’d probably be out of touch for a while, if the day’s experience was anything to go by. His prediction proved all too accurate.
Jesse, however, continued to send periodic texts, and in quiet moments Andrew looked at them more times than he would ever admit to anyone.
Hope all is going well in NY.
Having coffee with Emma. She says hi.
Erica Albright sends her regards.
Hope the filming is going well.
Even though his role was physically demanding and required long hours on set and little for much else, Andrew had, at least, managed to shoot off a few texts himself now and then.
Crazy busy. Will call soon to ctch up.
Filming going well. Tell Emma and Erica hello.
There had also been one voice mail Andrew didn’t pick up until two days after it had been left, Jesse’s hesitant voice saying hello, he just wanted to say hi, hoped everything was going well, asking Andrew to maybe give him a call if he got a break, he’d love to hear how things were going.
He left another one back, again late at night on the shop’s voice mail, apologizing for only just now picking up the message, telling Jesse he hoped to have a break soon and he would try and call again. Andrew hesitated before hanging up, wanting to tell Jesse how much he missed him, but held back, thinking it wasn’t the time, especially while he was exhausted and emotionally vulnerable. He didn’t want to say too little, but he didn’t want to say too much either, especially as they hadn’t yet had a chance to even discuss what had happened—or hadn’t happened—the night before he left. So he just said a quiet goodnight and hung up the phone, deciding those sorts of sentiments would be better talked about in person. Then he replayed Jesse’s message again, listening to it over and over until he fell asleep.
Finally, once the production had gotten somewhat back on schedule, Andrew had his first day with the afternoon free. He immediately found a private spot to put in a call to Jesse.
“Hi, it’s Andrew,” he said when Jesse answered the phone. His heart was pounding and he was unaccountably nervous.
“Hi,” Jesse said, voice surprised. “You called. It’s good to… hi. How is the movie going?”
“It’s great. Busy, but… yeah… great.”
“That’s good. Good to hear.”
“Yeah.”
The line was quiet, neither of them speaking for a moment. As the silence lengthened, becoming awkward, Andrew searched for something to say.
“How’s your nose?” he asked, then cringed, not meaning to remind Jesse of his pitiful attempts at seduction and so not the way he intended to introduce the topic for discussion.
“It’s fine.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, really. It was nothing.”
“That’s good.”
Another awkward silence grew between them. Andrew wasn’t sure how to talk about what had happened, having almost convinced himself it was better they parted no more than friends, but now that he had brought it up, he felt he needed to say something.
“Look,” he began. “About that—”
“Hey, Andrew?” Jesse cut in.
“Yeah?”
“I hate to do this, since I know you’ve been busy and probably don’t have much time, but it’s picking up here at the shop and I’m going to have to go.”
“Oh,” Andrew said, taken slightly aback. “Yeah… sure. I understand. I’ll try again in a few days?”
“Yeah, that sounds great. It was good to hear from you. Glad things are going so well.”
“Thanks. I’ll talk to you soon?”
“Great, goodbye.”
“Goodbye.” And then Jesse was gone and Andrew was left staring at his phone in confusion, wondering what had just happened. That was not at all how he had expected their conversation to go.
Andrew tried Jesse several times more over the next few days, but never reached him in person. He left brief voice mails initially, but stopped leaving messages after the first couple of times. The texting continued, but though each new one made Andrew smile, he couldn’t help but feel dissatisfied at the limited interaction.
When Andrew realized he hadn’t heard anything from Jesse in almost a week, he checked back over the texts and noticed they had come further and further apart. When he realized he hadn’t received a response to the last three texts he had sent, he felt a sinking in his stomach and hoped his chances weren’t ruined completely. After the epic failure of the non-kiss at Jesse’s flat, Andrew had told himself it was for the best things hadn’t gone any further between them. But the longer he was away, the more time that spanned between contact with Jesse, the more Andrew realized how much he actually missed him. He missed him desperately—his sly humor, his comfortable presence, his beautiful smile. As he continued to re-play that one lone phone message over and over, just to hear Jesse’s voice, Andrew was forced to admit his feelings for Jesse were deeper and stronger than he had allowed himself to think about.
Well, he wasn’t going to make the same mistake twice. He could feel Jesse pulling further away, but that wasn’t going to stop him. There was something between the two of them; he was sure of it. Something special and worth fighting for. When he got home, he was going to take the first opportunity he got to plant a big fat kiss on Jesse’s gorgeous face and tell him how he felt. He had been stupid to not say anything before he left, stupid to not try harder to make Jesse his. Separations were always going to be a part of his career. His job may take him away again in the future, but the thought of having someone like Jesse waiting for him at home was enough to fill him with happiness. With a determined heart, he pulled out his phone and sent another text.
Wrapping in 2 wks. Will cu soon.
He wanted to say a lot more, but he had waited this long; he could wait two more weeks and tell Jesse in person.
Andrew backed out of the shop on autopilot, letting the door click shut softly behind him, walking rapidly down the block, putting as much distance as possible between himself and what he had just seen. His mind was a blank. He couldn’t think; he was unable to process anything, anything at all. That had not just happened. It couldn’t have.
He needed Carey.
He dialed her number automatically as he walked, noting curiously, as if he were watching someone else’s actions, that his hands were shaking.
“That was quick,” Carey said when she picked up. “How did it go?”
He tried to answer, but found his throat had locked up. He swallowed, trying to loosen it, but couldn’t get any words out. He stopped, rubbing the heel of his hand against his eyes, trying to get a grip.
“Carey?” His voice was small, and he heard it crack, but he was too upset to be embarrassed.
“Shit. Where are you?”
“I don’t know. Walking.”
“Stay put. I’m coming to get you.”
“Okay.”
“Don’t hang up.”
“Carey,” he practically whimpered, voice pleading. He couldn’t talk about it yet. He just couldn’t.
“You don’t have to say anything, all right? I just want to be able to find you.” He could hear the sound of a car door shutting in the background and then an engine starting.
True to her word, she didn’t expect him to talk. She kept up a running commentary about how far she was, chatting away about mutual friends, odd items she had read recently in the news, the movie she had seen over the weekend. Luckily, traffic wasn’t too horrible at that time of day, and it wasn’t long before she pulled up to the curb after spying him, sitting dejectedly against a wall, knees bent, head tipped back, eyes closed, phone cradled to his ear.
“Darling, you look pathetic,” she said with sympathy.
He opened his eyes and looked around, spying her nearby, then he unfolded his long limbs and made his way to the car, sliding in to the passenger seat. “Thanks,” he said, a pained smile on his face.
“Where to?” she asked. “My place, yours, or directly to the pub?”
He gave a weak laugh.
“Yours, if that’s okay.” He couldn’t go back to his flat right now. He’d only be reminded of how giddy and hopeful he had been just hours before. And he certainly wasn’t fit to be out in public. Chances are he’d be weeping embarrassingly before the day was over and absolutely no one needed to see that. He was sure to be handing over future blackmail material, but he could trust Carey to hold off on any mockery until he was adequately recovered from his heartbreak. He was fairly certain that day would never actually come.
Once settled back at her flat with a cup of tea, he knew he’d have to fill her in on the disaster that was supposed to have been his grand declaration and happily ever after.
“Well?” she asked. “What happened?”
He cringed as his mind replayed the scene he had walked in on. He had been so excited, so happy, finally going to see Jesse after all that time apart. He had taken an extra day or two after he had gotten home to catch up on his sleep, meet with his agent to deal with remaining paperwork, and to plan out exactly what he wanted to say. He had worked out detailed responses to every objection he thought Jesse might come up with until he was confident Jesse would be convinced they were meant to be together and unable to resist.
And then he had opened the door to the flower shop to find Jesse kissing someone else.
“He’s seeing someone.”
“Oh, honey, I’m sorry. But it can’t be that serious, can it? You weren’t out of town for that long, and you said it was only in the last few weeks he started pulling away, right?”
“It looked pretty serious.”
“Looked? Did you meet who he was seeing?”
“Not exactly.”
“Well, what happened then? What did Jesse say?”
“I didn’t actually speak to him.”
“Andrew, what exactly went on today?”
“I walked in on him kissing someone.”
“Oh.” She made a face. “Awkward.”
“No, awful.”
Carey patted his hand. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to make light. What happened then?”
“Then I left.”
“And he didn’t come after you to explain?”
“I’m quite sure he didn’t see me. He was sort of busy at the time.”
“Andrew.” She shot him an admonishing look. “How could you possibly know he doesn’t want to see you? Maybe you completely misinterpreted the situation.”
“I know I didn’t.” Andrew could still picture them, as clearly as if they were standing in front of him right now. Jesse’s hands were on the other man’s hips, loose and comfortable. The man, taller than Jesse and dark haired, was holding Jesse’s face between his hands and speaking quietly to him. Then he had leaned down toward Jesse’s upturned face and kissed him on the lips, softly and sweetly. When he pulled back, Jesse’s face wore a smile, and his arms had reached around the man’s waist to pull him closer. The moment was so intimate and tender, Andrew recoiled almost reflexively, feeling like the worst kind of intruder. It hadn’t been like a first kiss, or a getting to know you kiss, or a playful flirty kiss; the kiss had been one of familiarity, of obvious deep affection.
Andrew felt as if he couldn’t breathe, wanting that moment for his own. Wanting that to be him in Jesse’s arms, his mouth on Jesse’s lips. That should be him. It was supposed to be him. He was jealous, and angry, and heartbroken, and bewildered. He had left his flat full of nervous energy, excited and elated, convinced today would be the day everything changed for them. And it had, but not in the way he had expected. The worst part was he knew it was his own fault. He had fucked everything up, done everything wrong. And he had lost Jesse because of it. Or, not even lost him, because he never managed to get him in the first place. Someone else had slipped right in and stolen Jesse’s heart while Andrew had been dicking around, trying so hard not to screw everything up that there wasn’t anything there to screw up to begin with.
“But how can you know? Unless you talk to him—”
“Carey,” Andrew interrupted. “I know. I know what I saw.” When Carey looked like she was going to continue to argue the point, he added, “I screwed up. I’m too late. I may have been monumentally stupid about everything up until now, but of this I am sure. I had my chance and I blew it.”
Carey opened her mouth to speak again and Andrew cut her off, saying, “If you make a sex joke right now I may never forgive you. And I might actually cry.”
She snorted, giving him a sympathetic look, and opened her arms. “Come here,” she said. Hugging him tightly she said, “Tea isn’t really going to cut it, is it? Shall we get spectacularly drunk?”
Andrew nodded against her shoulder and gave a little laugh. If it sounded suspiciously like a sob, Carey would never tell.
Life without Jesse was, unsurprisingly, difficult to adjust to. Without a job lined up, Andrew had a lot of free time on his hands, time which before he would have spent bugging Jesse at his store, hanging out at the coffee shop down the street, watching movies at his flat. Jesse had called several times, but Andrew had let the calls go to voice mail, not trusting himself to speak. Jesse’s own voice was hesitant, hoping he had gotten settled back home okay, wondering when he’d have time to go grab some coffee, wanting to hear all about New York. And, he added, sounding even more uncertain, hoping they could talk.
That was a conversation Andrew could go forever without having, so he took the coward’s way out, texting a response, feigning first a bad cold, then a busy schedule. He knew he’d have to face Jesse eventually, but he didn’t think he could see him right now without falling apart. Then he begged his agent to find him some work, anything so that he wasn’t spinning his wheels and driving himself crazy, missing Jesse so much it hurt.
A week hadn’t passed before his agent rang up.
“Are you sitting down?” he asked. “I don’t know who you managed to impress, but it was someone important. David Fincher wants you for his new movie. He’s got a script by an up-and-coming talent that was apparently tailored with you specifically in mind. David Fincher, Andrew. This could be a career making movie.”
Heartbroken though he might be, Andrew had always been serious about acting. He knew what an opportunity this was. For the first time since he had seen Jesse kissing another man, he felt excited about something. Truly excited. Maybe life could go on, after all.
“That’s fantastic. Just let me know when and where for the audition and I’ll be ready.”
“Oh no. You don’t understand. There’s no audition. The part’s yours if you want it. Well, as long as Fincher’s happy with the table read he’s scheduled. But as long as you don’t screw that up, you’re in.”
“Wow.” Andrew was stunned. He knew how astronomical the odds were of something like this falling into his lap. It was every hopeful in Hollywood’s dream. “Wow,” he repeated. “I don’t know what to say.”
“I know.” His agent’s laugh was giddy. “Congratulations, kid. You done good.”
“Thanks. Just… thanks.”
“I’ve got a package being couriered over as we speak. Contracts, tentative schedule, copy of the script.”
“I can’t wait to read it. Who’s the writer?” Andrew didn’t even really care what the movie was about. If David Fincher was involved, it was bound to be excellent.
“Eisenstein, Einstein? Something like that. He’s done some television and some script doctoring for a few heavies in the past couple of years—Scorsese, Eastwood, some other big names. He’s pretty well known in writing circles, from what I understand, plus he wrote a short a few years back that got an Oscar nod. He and Fincher have been working on putting this project together for a while now.”
“Sounds fantastic. I want you to know how much I appreciate everything you’ve done for me. This is… yeah… a dream.”
“You deserve it. And, I am getting paid, after all.”
They both laughed and spent a few more minutes sharing Andrew’s good fortune. His agent finally said he should let him go; he was sure he’d want to make some calls to let people know the news.
When Andrew hung up, he immediately called his family, then some friends, Carey among the first, of course. They were all thrilled for him. The one person he wished he could call was Jesse. Jesse had always had faith in him, and Andrew knew he’d be happy for him, even if things hadn’t turned out the way he had hoped between them.
Feeling sentimental, he caved to the impulse and shot off a text.
Just landed a big role. Very excited.
Almost immediately, he received a response back.
That’s great! Coffee? Tell me all about it?
Although he was glad he had contacted Jesse, he didn’t think he was up for seeing him in person yet.
Wish I could but very busy rt now.
Maybe after his heartache eased, they could resume some of their old companionship. He had missed Jesse so much. More than anything he longed to drive right over and see those gorgeous blue eyes, watch his beautiful face crease into a dimpled smile. He knew he couldn’t handle it today, but given time... The thought of Jesse being out of his life forever was too harsh to bear. He’d rather have his friendship than nothing at all.
He pulled his phone back out and sent off another text:
When I know schedule better, will call.
His phone beeped again signaling a new text. He smiled when he saw what Jesse had written, a pang in his chest, sharp and bittersweet.
I’d like that a lot.
He was lost in thought when a new text came in:
Miss seeing you.
A lump formed in his throat as he read the words. He knew the feeling.
Andrew stopped in shock as he walked through the door for the table read.
“Emma?”
She looked up and wrinkled her nose in distaste.
“I should have known.”
He was completely surprised. When he asked who else had been cast, he was told the female lead was still up in the air. They were considering a few actors who were relative unknowns and wanted to gauge their chemistry during the table read before making a final decision. He hadn’t inquired further, knowing how much could change and figuring he’d wait until he had an actual name. Now he wished he had, so he could have prepared himself to face her.
Andrew took the seat next to her, and turned, about to make some small talk, but stopped at her scowl.
“What?” he asked, unnerved by her harsh stare.
“What?” she echoed in disbelief. “What?” she repeated. Her voice was incredulous.
“Yes, what? Why are you looking at me like that?”
She picked up her script from the table, eyes blazing, and started hitting him over the head with it.
“What were you thinking? How could you do that to him?”
“Ow! Stop it!” He held up his arm to ward off her blows. “What are you talking about?”
“What am I talking about? You’ve been home for weeks and you haven’t even stopped by to see him.”
He didn’t have to ask who she meant, although he would have thought the reason was obvious.
“Well, he’s seeing someone else. You’ll pardon me if I needed a little time to get over him.”
She stopped the assault and gave him another dark scowl. “What are you talking about? He’s not seeing anyone.”
“Yes, he is.”
“No,” she said slower, as if she were speaking to a simpleton, “he’s not.”
“Yes, he is,” he said back, mimicking her tone. “I saw them.”
“You saw shit,” she sneered. “You have no idea what you’re talking about. He’s crazy about you and you broke his heart. You,” she paused dramatically, “are an asshole.”
“Hey,” he protested.
Their conversation was interrupted by David Fincher breezing into the room.
“Ah, good. You’ve met. Emma… Andrew. Andrew… Emma.”
They both reined in whatever else they had to say while their director-to-be filled them in on the project, told them how happy he was to have them on board, and gave them a run down on how he expected the day to go.
“Now you both were hand-picked for this project and this is largely a formality. I’ve seen all your work, and my partner was really pushing for you both. So as long as we all feel we can work together for the long haul, we’ll be in business.”
Andrew looked at Emma out of the corner of his eye, hoping she wasn’t going to let the earlier tension affect their work. She was sliding a look at him as well and their eyes met in understanding. Whatever else was happening, they were both professionals; neither of them was going to fuck up this opportunity. They chatted amicably with David while the rest of the cast trickled in.
Luckily, the early scenes had their characters pitted in an antagonistic relationship. The dialog sparked and crackled between the two of them. David seemed delighted with how things were going.
“Your chemistry is great. If you were at all nervous about your parts, you can stop. You’re naturals together.”
Then he suggested a break for lunch, meeting back in an hour to read through the last half of the script.
Before Andrew could slip away, Emma had grabbed him by the elbow and was tugging him out of the room.
“You’re coming with me,” she said.
He jerked back his arm. “Fine.”
They found a sandwich shop down the street and sat at a table in the corner after their order was ready.
Andrew broke the silence. “So you said he wasn’t seeing anyone. Did they break up?” He had done his best to not think about what she had said while they were at the read, but he couldn’t help the surge of hope he felt.
“No,” she said, curling her lip.
His heart sunk with disappointment. “Oh.”
Emma rolled her eyes. “Because there was nothing to break up. I told you; he’s not seeing anyone. For whatever reason, he’s still hung up on you.” Her tone made it clear what she thought about that.
“But, he was kissing that guy. I saw them.”
“What guy?”
“The guy at the shop. I stopped by when I got back and they were...” he paused, clearing his throat to stop his voice from breaking, “they were kissing.”
“That doesn’t make any sense.”
“Neither do you,” he said churlishly. His heart was still battered and bruised. He didn’t need Emma making him feel even worse.
“Ha, ha.” Her response was automatic, almost absentminded. She looked lost in thought. “What did he look like?” she asked after a moment.
“Emma?” She looked up. “Look, I don’t want to talk about it. Okay?”
She must have seen something in his face. Her attitude softened. “Just humor me for a minute. I think this may all be just a big misunderstanding.”
At his skeptical look, she said, “No, really. So tell me, what did the guy look like?”
“I don’t know.” He was petulant, resentful she was making him re-live his worst moment. “Like a regular guy. He was a little taller than Jesse, short dark hair. Average build.”
As he spoke, Emma’s expression changed and she started nodding in understanding. “Justin. It had to have been.”
“Justin? His friend in New York?” Andrew had heard Jesse talk about him many times before, especially when Justin Timberlake’s name had come up in conversation.
“Yes, but he was in town recently, and it’d be just like him.”
“To kiss him on the lips?”
“Yes, he’s very hands-y.”
“And they’re not dating?” he asked, afraid to hope.
“God, no. They’ve known each other for forever. They’re like brothers.”
“Brothers who kiss each other on the mouth.”
Emma rolled her eyes again. “I’m telling you, it had to be Justin. Jesse’s been pining for you since you left for New York. You’re both pathetic, if you ask me.”
“Well, no one did.”
She curled her lip in a now familiar sneer. “Obviously, you should have. He’s convinced you’re straight and having a gay freak out after he almost kissed you. You’re convinced he’s dating his brother. Pathetic.”
“Justin’s not his brother.”
“Whatever.” She waved her hand dismissively. “The fact remains that you’re both hopeless. Completely hopeless. I’m amazed either of you ever manages to get laid.”
“Hey!”
“Deny it all you want, but—”
“Wait,” Andrew interrupted, “after Jesse almost kissed me? I was the one who tried to kiss him.”
“Pathetic,” Emma whispered into the air as an aside. “Yes, and then you raced off to New York and he barely heard from you again.”
“I was busy!”
“He was convinced you were avoiding him and just biding your time until you could give the ‘I just want to be friends’ speech.”
“No! I don’t want to be friends!”
“God,” she huffed in exasperation.
“I mean, of course I want to be friends. But I want to be more than that. You really think that was Justin? You think I have a chance?”
“Jesus, Andrew. How much more proof do you need that the boy’s madly in love with you? He wrote this entire part specifically for you. If that doesn’t give you an indication about his feelings, I don’t know what’s going to.”
“What?” His confusion was apparent.
“Unbelievable,” she muttered under her breath. “Did you even look at your script?”
“Of course I did.”
“Did you read the front page? You know, the part that said, ‘by J.A. Eisenberg’?”
“What?” He dug into his backpack and pulled out his copy, unfurling it from where the pages were curled around, stuck open at his first scene. He had been so excited to receive it, he had dove right in reading and never even looked at the cover. As he spread it flat on the table, he saw the words written in small black ink, right at the bottom, just as she had said. He ran his fingers over the print, whispering, “Jesse.”
To Emma he said, “I’m so fucking stupid.”
Her shoulders lifted in a shrug. “You’ll hear no argument from me.”
Andrew took a deep breath then pushed open the door to Jesse’s Flowers. His hands were sweating and his heart was racing, but there was no going back now. He had never been more determined about anything in his life. Jesse looked up as he entered the store and Andrew could see the shock register on his face. Then his bright blue eyes lit up and his face broke into a beautiful smile.
“Andrew,” he said, “it’s good to see you.”
Andrew couldn’t tear his eyes away from Jesse’s face. “It’s good to see you too,” he said, feeling like he had just uttered the biggest understatement ever made.
“I’d like to order some flowers,” he said next, plunging on before he lost his nerve. His stomach flipped uncontrollably, especially when he saw the smile on Jesse’s face falter just a bit.
“Of course,” Jesse replied smoothly, a professional mask stealing over his face. “That’s what we’re here for.”
Andrew walked to the counter and slipped a piece of paper toward Jesse. “I’d like them sent to this address.”
Jesse looked at the paper, taking a moment to register that the shop’s own address was written on it. Andrew could tell the second it sunk in and grinned as he saw the corners of Jesse’s mouth quirk up. Jesse looked at Andrew, a brilliant smile back on his face.
“Would you like help picking out an arrangement or did you have something specific in mind?” he asked.
“I know exactly what I want,” Andrew said.
“You do, do you?” Jesse asked, coming out from behind the counter.
“I do.” They couldn’t keep their eyes off each other.
“What do you want, Andrew?” Jesse asked in a breathless voice.
Andrew was close enough to feel the heat from his skin. He stared at Jesse’s mouth, those lush pink lips. He licked his own lips as he tried to focus. Then he shook his head to clear it and reached into his pocket to pull out another piece of paper. “I have a list,” he said.
“Of course you do,” Jesse said with a small fond laugh.
“Can I start with some hyacinth?” he asked, hoping Jesse would understand.
And of course he did. “I don’t think your arrangement needs hyacinth, but if you insist, I’m sure it would be accepted.”
“Really?”
“Absolutely.”
Andrew smiled. “Then how about some bell flowers.”
Jesse smiled back. “You’re welcome. But you deserve it, truly. I told you you were talented.”
“Still. Thank you, Jesse. I can’t tell you how grateful I am.”
“I don’t know. I think you’re doing okay so far.”
“I can do better.”
Jesse huffed out a laugh. “You can?”
“Yes. I also need some pink camellia.”
Jesse’s smile turned wistful. “I missed you too,” he admitted softly. “So very much.”
Andrew swallowed down a lump in his throat. He nodded, too overcome to speak. The words on his paper were blurring as he blinked back moisture from his eyes. He squinted, trying to read the next item from the list.
“Some… begonia, please?”
Jesse’s face scrunched up and he shook his head in mock sadness. “And you were doing so well.”
“Shit.” Andrew laughed, glad for the return of a little levity. “What did I just throw into the mix? I didn’t try to poison you, did I, like those poor cats from the shelter?”
“No, but you did just tell me to beware.”
“Shit. Shit, shit, shit. Obviously, that’s a mistake.”
“Obviously?” Jesse asked with a smile.
“Yes, obviously. The last thing I want to do is warn you away. You do know this whole thing ends with a perfect red rose, don’t you?”
“I think you mean it starts with a perfect red rose.”
“Yes, that. I suppose that’s what I can expect, falling in love with a writer. You’re not going to be correcting my grammar when I’m babbling incoherently during the throes of passion, are you?”
“I’m not sure,” Jesse said with a cheeky smile. “Let’s find out.”
So Andrew did the only thing he could possibly do when presented with a challenge like that: he leaned over and kissed Jesse’s beautiful lips.
It was perfect.
And then Jesse’s tongue was licking at the seam of his lips and he was humming into his mouth. Heat seared through Andrew and he opened his mouth to Jesse, moaning at the hot slide of tongues, overwhelmed that this moment was finally, finally here. Then they were pressing close to each other, hands desperate and grabbing, pulling closer, even closer. Andrew felt the tug of his shirt being freed from the waistband of his jeans, fingers sliding underneath, hand hot on his skin. He whimpered, grinding his hips into Jesse, biting down on his lip, wanting more. He needed more.
His hands roved down Jesse’s back and over the curve of his ass, pulling him even tighter against him, letting Jesse feel the effect he was having on him. “Can Erica mind the store?” he panted against Jesse’s lips.
“Closing early today,” Jesse panted back, moving toward the front door, dragging Andrew with him, kissing him all the while. He gave a breathless laugh as Andrew backed him against the door, pinning him with his body, mouth hungry on his neck, biting and sucking up to his ear. Jesse’s hand fumbled for the latch, trying to flip the deadbolt, but was made clumsy by the distraction of Andrew’s mouth on his skin. He cried out, tilting his head back when Andrew’s hand reached between them, squeezing the hardness between his legs. “Jesse,” Andrew breathed in his ear. “God, Jesse.”
Jesse’s hips bucked into Andrew’s hand then he was pushing Andrew away, hands against his shoulders. Andrew drew back, face flushed, eyes locked on Jesse’s mouth, mesmerized by his lips, full and kiss swollen. “Wait a second,” Jesse panted, chest heaving. Andrew watched as Jesse turned to the door, locking it in one quick motion, then flipping the sign hanging against the window to ‘closed’.
“Okay,” he said with a brilliant smile and then Andrew was on him again, ravaging his mouth, tongue tangling and exploring deep, as if he could never get enough of his taste. Jesse’s hands were under his shirt again, thumbs sliding over the muscles of his abdomen, feeling Andrew twitch in response. Then he was pushing the fabric up even more, head moving down to lick at his chest. It was Andrew’s turn to cry out as Jesse’s mouth latched around one of his nipples, wringing a response by more sucking and the scraping of his teeth. Then Jesse mouthed down his side, spreading open mouthed kisses over his skin, while his hand dipped below Andrew’s waistband, running his fingers through the soft trail of hair leading down.
He pulled back to see Andrew staring at him with desire plain on his face, mouth open, pupils blown wide. “Upstairs,” Jesse said and Andrew nodded in response, before both of them raced for the door separating the shop from Jesse’s flat, laughing as Jesse grabbed Andrew’s wrist, pulling him up the stairs. Jesse fumbled again with the lock, trying to get the door open while Andrew pressed up against his back, whispering dirty things in his ear.
Once inside, Jesse grabbed his wrist again dragging Andrew straight to the bedroom. He pushed him backwards on the bed then immediately straddled his hips, leaning over to give him a filthy kiss while grinding their erections together. Andrew’s head spun from the sensation and he bucked up before flipping them over, spreading Jesse’s legs with his knees and grinding back down.
“I want to fuck you,” he panted in Jesse’s ear before sucking along his jaw, all tongue and teeth, hot and wet. Jesse’s answering groan shot another pulse of desire through him and he shivered at the feel of Jesse’s hand scrabbling for his skin under his shirt, his legs lifting to wrap themselves around Andrew’s waist.
“Yes, God, yes,” Jesse moaned, his entire body trembling with desire. Andrew slipped his arms under Jesse’s shoulders than surged backward onto his knees, pulling Jesse with him so he was sitting straddling his lap. He ripped Jesse’s shirt over his head, then pulled his own off, biting at the join of his neck while scrambling to unfasten his pants. Jesse’s hands joined his and they worked his jeans open, pushing them down his hips as far as they would go. Andrew’s hand wrapped hot and hard around his dick, thumb sliding across the wet tip. He caught Jesse’s keening cry with his lips, and plunged his tongue back in his mouth while giving a few firm strokes. Jesse’s fingers dug into his shoulders, body taut, still shuddering.
Andrew pushed him back down on the bed, pulling his jeans the rest of the way off. Then he shucked his own before climbing back between Jesse’s legs, shoving them apart with his hands and leaning over to take his cock deep into his mouth.
Jesse’s sharp cry was the best sound he had ever heard. He reached up a hand to Jesse’s face and nudged at his lips with his fingers, feeling another surge of lust when Jesse’s mouth immediately opened, sucking his index and middle finger in, using his tongue to get them sloppy and wet.
Then he pulled his fingers free and brought them between Jesse’s legs, circling at his hole. He pushed one in as his tongue circled the head of Jesse cock, teasing under the ridge. Andrew took Jesse deep again, bobbing and sliding his mouth over his cock, hot and wet, tongue sucking and sliding, slipping his finger further in. Jesse’s head thrashed back and forth and his hands reached for Andrew head, tangling his fingers helplessly in his hair, moaning and opening his legs wider. Andrew responded to the blatant invitation by sucking him harder and sliding his finger in and out, pressing the second at his opening.
He pulled away for a second to ask, “Lube?” and Jesse nodded, leaning over to open the drawer at his bedside table. He ripped a condom from a strip and tossed it to Andrew with the bottle of lube, then he watched with heated eyes while propped up on his elbows as Andrew squirted some on his fingers and reached back between his legs. Jesse fell back down on the bed and opened his legs wide again, pushing against Andrew’s fingers.
Andrew chuckled at his impatience and didn’t waste any time getting back to where they had left off.
Andrew watched in awe as Jesse fell apart under him, moaning incoherently as his fingers pressed inside him. He was so tight and hot, his dick rigid and pulsing against Andrew’s tongue, the salty taste of his precome flavoring his mouth. He sucked and licked, pushing his fingers deeper, loving the way Jesse opened for him, desperate and wanting, pressing back down against his hand. He had never been more beautiful.
“Andrew,” Jesse begged, voice cracking. “God, I need you… need you…”
Andrew slipped his fingers out and pulled off Jesse’s cock, loving the small whine that left Jesse lips. He made quick work of putting on the condom and slicking himself up, then he was positioning himself between Jesse’s legs, lifting his thighs over his arms, and pushing in slow and deep in one long thrust. Jesse’s eyes stayed trained on his, dark and wide, eyelids fluttering. He felt incredible. So fucking incredible.
Andrew leaned over, face close, arms and back straining against the urge to push.
“Okay?” he asked, staring into Jesse’s beautiful blue eyes.
Jesse nodded yes.
“I don’t know if I can go slow,” Andrew choked out.
“Then don’t,” Jesse whispered, pushing his hips up and squeezing Andrew’s length.
A ragged cry burst from Andrew’s lips and he was pounding into Jesse, slamming into him hard and deep. Jesse met him thrust for thrust, dick bouncing on his stomach, smearing streaks of precome against his skin.
Andrew watched as Jesse reached up to pull himself off, his hand sliding over his cock, moving faster and faster until his entire body went taut, head thrown back, tendons in his neck straining as he shot streams of come over his chest. The sight was so erotic, Andrew’s own release tore through him and his cries joined Jesse’s as his hips snapped once more, dick pulsing again and again inside Jesse’s body.
When he was spent, he collapsed on top of Jesse, burying his face in his neck, heart pounding. Jesse turned his face to nuzzle into his hair, while his hands stroked lightly down Andrew’s back, soothing and tender.
After a few minutes, Jesse spoke. “I’m in love with you too, you know.”
Andrew struggled to move, completely languid and sated, but needing to see Jesse’s beautiful face. He hitched an elbow underneath him to give him the leverage he needed and lifted his head.
He stared into Jesse’s gorgeous blue eyes, roamed his gaze over that beloved face, wanting to catalogue every tiny detail of this moment.
He smiled, all the love and devotion he felt for this remarkable man shining strongly through.
“How fortuitous,” he said.
Jesse’s dimpled smile was everything he’d ever need.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
Yay you!
Date: 2011-12-13 06:53 am (UTC)Re: Yay you!
Date: 2011-12-13 10:07 pm (UTC)xoxo
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Date: 2011-12-13 11:45 am (UTC)Really enjoyed Andrew in this fic, and the last part was beautiful. Thank you for writing such a beautiful story :)
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Date: 2011-12-13 10:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-12-13 01:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-12-13 10:09 pm (UTC)xo
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Date: 2011-12-13 02:11 pm (UTC)I like so much things about it - their inner jokes, the devotion, the mutual dumbness. Everything, including Christy's voodoo part and Justin's hilarious poetry.
I have to admit I recognized it was Bartha with him right away, so I was worried that maybe you're an Acuncion fan and they meant to be together in this story. Thanks God they are not. Though I kind of ship them too, it's not the case, okay?
Emma's very in character!) and Erica Albright, omg, at first I weirded out, but soon it became okay, because hell yeah, Jesse could be like that.
Also, by all the descriptions I can see how much the author of the story is in love with J. A. Eisenberg herself. But I kind of understand her here. ))))))
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Date: 2011-12-13 10:17 pm (UTC)Thank you again! I'm glad you enjoyed it!
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Date: 2011-12-13 04:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-12-13 10:18 pm (UTC)25 Roses ;-)
Date: 2011-12-13 08:35 pm (UTC)Re: 25 Roses ;-)
Date: 2011-12-13 10:20 pm (UTC)Re: 25 Roses ;-)
Date: 2011-12-14 12:05 am (UTC)Re: 25 Roses ;-)
Date: 2011-12-14 01:46 am (UTC)xo
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Date: 2011-12-13 10:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-12-14 01:47 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-12-14 02:39 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-12-14 10:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-12-14 12:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-12-14 10:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-12-14 06:31 pm (UTC)Thank you for sharing!
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Date: 2011-12-14 10:45 pm (UTC)xoxo
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Date: 2011-12-14 06:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-12-14 10:45 pm (UTC)xoxo
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Date: 2011-12-16 04:42 am (UTC)xoxo
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Date: 2011-12-15 08:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-12-16 04:58 am (UTC)wow！It's brilliant！！
Date: 2011-12-17 01:35 pm (UTC)My English is poor though，I hope you don't mind my asking you here because this is my first time using live-journal and I have no idea how to post a message to you，I‘m learning it right now......
So，can you give me an answer？Pleaseeeee~^_^
Re: wow！It's brilliant！！
Date: 2011-12-20 01:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-12-26 05:11 am (UTC)The way they talk, the fortuitous meetings, Andrew researching FLOWER MEANINGS and EMMA and THE AWKWARD NEAR KISSSES and EVERYTHING!
I can NOT describe how much I loved reading this, loved, loved, LOVED!
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Date: 2011-12-30 01:08 am (UTC)xo
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Date: 2012-01-17 04:19 am (UTC)But seriously! THESE TWO! The ending. Unf, thank you!
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Date: 2012-01-17 10:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-02-21 09:54 pm (UTC)And by quite a bit I mean I loved it to pieces.
I can't contain the love I have for this in a single comment.
I CAN'T EVEN CONTAIN IT IN MYSELF
"“How fortuitous,” he said."
sob. perfect.
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Date: 2012-02-21 10:42 pm (UTC)xo
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Date: 2012-02-21 10:46 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-03-07 02:22 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-03-09 07:50 pm (UTC)xo
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Date: 2012-07-21 10:15 am (UTC)It's so well written and the way you handled the chemistry between Jesse and Andrew was spot on. Like, you're brilliant okay? I happen to have a thing for florists fics, and this had Jesse and Andrew being all cute and UGH, I'm dying. This is so perfect. Of course, I was grinning dumbly during the entire thing, it's so sweet, so beautiful. I wish I could give you this massive hug because, you, my friend, did a spectacular job. Kudos ♥
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Date: 2012-07-22 04:52 pm (UTC)xo